life as viewed from behind mirrored sunglasses

End-of-Year Rant (read for explanation) =P

2009-09-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

A long while ago, actually December 31st, 2008, i wrote this - and i've had it on my to-do list to post since then =P I've put it off long enough, so, here it is: my end-of-year rant =P

Well today must really be a day for writing - this is my third post today! I just can't stop writing since it's the end of the year... I've spent the day so far just sitting and thinking, and then writing. I've still got to write about my new year's resolutions, and my new 6 month plan! But right now i'm gonna postpone that and talk about something i think a couple of you have already written about - fake Christian music. This stuff really gets my goat. You know the kind. The "music" with generic lyrics that can be taken four thousand different ways, where you don't know if the artist is singing about God, his girlfriend, or his grandma, and where the music is uneventful, just mainstream 2 chord 3 note melody crap. Now i say this with risk of sounding like a hypocrite. I have no problem with music that is deemed "secular" where the artist only sings about relationships, or things of that nature. And of course i have no problem with singing about God or your grandma. What i absolutely hate is when the lyrics are so generic to be taken to be any of the above - that is the tip of the iceberg to a bigger problem - Greed. Think about it. These artists have no passion for anything except money. They will write "music" that is appealing to all, crafting generic chord progressions, melodies, and most of all lyrics, that can be taken any number of ways, just to appeal to as large an audience as possible. Here's an example. Artist "A" writes one of these type of songs, and his producer and publisher send it to numerous radio stations. Christian radio station "WABC" listens to "A's" song, interprets it to be talking about the artist's relationship with God, and plays it for it's audience, who interprets it the same way. At the same time, secular station "WXYZ" reviews the song, determines it to be about the artist's relationship with his girlfriend, and plays it for it's audience, who also interprets it this way. This happens all across the board. The song gets a huge amount of radio play, which in turn generates a huge amount of record sales which... guess what... makes money!! Now of course there's nothing wrong with money. But when an artist compromises his beliefs and decieves countless thousands of people , claiming to be a "christian" artist on some stations and a "secular" artist on other stations, the artist shows a lack of integrity and a love for money that completely sickens me. I despise artists such as this. Write Christian music, write secular, write BOTH, but for God's sake, and all of ours, Don't write something that can be taken as both!! This concludes today's rant =P

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just life :-)

2009-09-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

How bout another post? I think it's a good idea. Today was great, had so much fun with my dear friends at lunch and the church after :-) Apples to apples got slightly boring after a while but we still had some good times :-) Thanks for making my day awesome, "fellas" ;-)

Well this week will be interesting - as usual i have no idea how it's gonna be, i expect more of the same - looking for work, working around the house, driving around taking care of errands, working on projects that need to be completed, and working on school, and tracking in Studio A. But hey things don't go as planned, and i'm counting on it, or else this week will be pretty durn boring =P

Oh and i just realized I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO FOR LABOR DAY TOMORROW!!! OMG! Anybody want to change that? hehe =P

And i totally just wasted about 2.4 minutes of your life through reading this, depending on your reading speed. =P

The rollercoaster

2009-09-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

So nothing (except the Gospel of course!) can account for how crazy happy i am at this particular moment. Maybe it's that my foreseeable future is very bright, with great things going on in my christian walk, the band, my career, my senior year, and my social life and activities haha. But... this past while since i've posted, life hasn't been quite this way.... i struggled on and off with depression and anxiety (haha - i sound like an anti-depression meds commercial =P) and i wasn't doing too great or relying on The Lord at all. Like the title of this here post, my life's been a rollercoaster lately... But, due to much prayer and so so much love and care from my dear dear friends, things have been much much better! I've been so at peace the past few days, and i believe God is starting to dissolve the deep bitterness and anger that's been in my heart over a few issues. It's hard to forgive sometimes, but of course that's what God calls us to do, and i'm slowly learning that. So wayyyy too much has been going on in my life to really list it all here, it's all been a blur of stuff (mostly music related!) mostly comprised of working in the studio with engineer Robert McClure, yelling at musicians, running cables, and generally getting everybody organized so Mr M can do his job... last saturday it was just him and me in a session recording a jazz band of 15+ members! As he said "We're runnin around like chickens with our heads cut off!" It's so much fun though... like i know i've said before, i've quite found my calling, as far as i can tell now... Also been going on is a very light school year, surprisingly for my last year (YAY) of highscool... i love the approach we're taking this year haha. And i'm still searching for a full time job, getting everything organized so i can start calling studios. AMP has been just amazing lately as always, we are currently tracking our single This Final Breath and hope to have it out very soon. Wesley and i were in Studio A all day yesterday, and we'll be there all day tomorrow as well. Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday i'm planning to spend with great friends, and just kick back and relax after a crazy busy yet amazing week. :-) Well to stop myself from elaborating further, i'm gonna cut this short (!!) and post something i wrote at about 4am while i was still depressed... if you can look past the gloom, i think it has some great points, reading back through it... see what you think.

"I never want to conform to what is deemed "cool". I know that popular culture defines what is "cool" and i choose to not be swayed by popular culture as i understand the system and try to influence and create the popular culture, and if i be conformed to it, i could not influence or sway it as /i would be conformed to the same mold i tried to shape!/ "Do not be conformed to the Image of this world but /be transformed by the renewel of your mind!!/" This is the lifestyle we are called to lead, to be influencers and shapers and not mindless conformants to a corrupt system. I may be deemed "uncool" by those conformed, but it means no more to me than a drop of water would to a raging river. It's our call to BE that raging river, a current and force so strong that it destroys the levies and dams of popular culture and opens us up to a renewed vigor for life, the Renewal of The Mind."

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Updates and new AMP Blogger feature!

2009-08-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hey folks, a couple updates :-)

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So i'm sure you noticed the blaring white bar on the right side of my blog haha - Facebook has recently launched a widget to allow you to post a live feed of fan pages to your blog or website! I of course snatched it up real quick and posted it here for AMP! :-) If you're an AMP fan, i highly encourage you to add this gadget to your page or blog ASAP! here are the steps:

#1 go to your layout --> page elements section on your blogger homepage

#2 click "add gadget"

#3 find the "hTML/JavaScript" gadget and click on it

#4 in the title bar, name it "Awake Music Project Fan Page" or something similar ("greatest band in the world" is also fitting =P =P haha!)

#5 Since Blogger will not let me post the needed code here, i have posted it in a comment on this post. post the code that's listed there in the "content" box

#6 Save your preferences

#7 Enjoy =P

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Well today we did an interview and acoustic session on WBT's Alana Flowers Show. It went well, and i want to thank those who lifted us up in prayer before during and after it, especially for me as i was and am dealing with a very bad head cold. Praise God, though, he lifted the symptoms for the duration of the show and i experienced a clear head, clear sinuses, and even though i had been coughing regularly all morning, during the hour of the show i did not cough or sneeze or even need a tissue once. That is clearly a work of God!! Frustratingly though the cold is back with full force... prayer for quick healing would be much welcome right now and i know all you dear friends will be praying :-) Thank you guys so much!

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In other news in my life and AMP, we'll be playing a show on Saturday, the 15th of this month, at Hickory Grove main campus from 2pm till 5pm!! We'll be playing with our friends The Indictment and Ides of March. Just a warning though - this will NOT be an acoustic session!! :-) In fact the other two bands are classified "screamo" and will be absolutely brutal :-) I'm looking forward to hearing them perform, but if metal just ain't your thang you are more than welcome to come just for us and then leave after our set is over - we'll be playing first so you'll have this option. We'll be playing 5 or 6 brand new songs, and we'll be putting on quite a show! I'm looking forward to it, and i really hope you guys can come out with us!! Here's a link to learn more...

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=149206169376&ref=share

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Well i believe that's about it. Keep me and the guys in AMP in your prayers, we really need it! Bless yall :-)

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Welcome to life.

2009-07-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. Lately i have had way too much to post so i decided why post at all? I don't even know why i'm posting now. I guess to try to keep up some semblance of the appearance of still posting. Right now i'm in one of my "don't you dare mess with me" moods, and i'm glad i'm home so i don't take it out on anybody. I probably shouldn't be posting because my bitterness and anger will bleed through on the text... now see i don't feel bad, just very angry and bitter. For far too many reasons. Mostly because people are sheep. They will listen/buy/watch/do anything, and follow the other stupid, pathetic sheep and the wolves that lead them. Such utter stupidity. This pop culture is built off it. Everybody feeds into it. The smart ones feed off it. The ones that are angry enough and uncaring enough know just how to lead the sheep... well what kind of a choice does that leave us outside of the culture's grip? To make a living, and to get power, we have to be the wolves. I know how to get the power... and it scares me that i do. I know how this world works, and i know just how to get what i want and need from it. I have learned how to use people. And sadly it's use or be used. I've been used so many times...Do you know what that does to a person? If you're weak, you collapse into a shell of yourself. If you're strong, you become jaded and bitter towards everyone and everything and learn to use people yourself. ...Guess who i am? And for all you stupid pathetic sheep that have taken your shot at using me - try again :-) Ever heard of the Long Con? :-) This will be fun... and hey... as they say in the mafia, nothing personal, it's just... business :-) Welcome to life, folks. And more specifically, welcome to the entertainment industry, a specific business dedicated to fulfilling the greed and mindless pleasure of the masses. It's all about power and money, taking it from the stupid sheep and transfering it into the hands of the ones who actually know what to do with it, and actually have a musical preference and an ear for perfection and excellence instead of just purchasing the newest one-hit wonder no-talent that comes onto the billboard top 10 like the masses they pander to. Don't you just love this screwed-up world? I know i do. Don't you just love how we have to reap the results of the fall in order to create or perpetuate any semblance of good? That's my business. I create evil in order to recieve power so i can create good. It's so messed up... but hey, it's life. Welcome to Using and Being Used. Get used to it. End of post.

Mobile!

2009-07-13T12:05:00.001-07:00

hey folks! i am posting from my phone! how bout that. i will be posting a lottt more now that i can go mobile! can i get an AMEN?! =P

Cliffhanger

2009-07-09T16:02:00.000-07:00

I just realized i've only posted 15 times since April 0.o That's quite shocking. I want to keep this blog up, but i seem to never have time... *sigh*. Well then i guess i should catch you guys up to my life recently...

i climbed King's Mountain yesterday with Matthew, Adam, Josiah, and a guy named Patrick yesterday - it was the most fun i've had in a while, and of course that's saying something =P I almost died as you can see below....

Of course this picture was staged (although i was standing on a small ledge you can't see here that was about six inches wide that spanned over a distance that i claim was several hundred feet and Adam claims was less than 50. I am sticking to my story, but no matter it was still very hardcore what i did, and stupid =P I did not die then, not even coming close. I did come close with the escaped convict though... though that's a story for another day.

All this week has been Drama Camp! I've had the privilege, along with Wesley and Emily S, to be "student directors", or camp counselors i guess if you prefer :-) It has been an absolute blast so far, and i know it will be next week too :-) Might post a few photos later.

Wesley and i just finished the Mystery Client Project, and our awesome mystery client has already been given his two tracks and we have tied the ribbon on that box and called it finished :-D I am now proceeding to enjoy my summer, and continue work on PREAMP: the Awake Music Project EP! More updates coming soon on that.

I am now going to leave to see some dear friends, namely Zach, Ying, and Sammy B, at frisbee :-D I'm already very late. Peace yall, hope to post soon.

Ciow! (pronounced Chow Although it is Cow Appreciation Day tomorrow - i will be dressing up - come prepared - i'll see yall tomorrow)

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Ow.

2009-06-29T15:05:00.000-07:00

So i went to the lake saturday... and came back with the worst burn i think i've ever had. It's worse than one i got in Palm Beach, FL! Wierd thing is it's centered around my upper forearms, that's it. It's a reverse farmer's tan! It would be funny, but it hurts to move my arms, so it's not. haha. I think i'm overly complaining, but it has not stopped feeling like my arms are getting burned off since saturday evening. I've tried to put it out of my mind, but who could do that for this?

Lol anyways. Work on the track for the mystery client is going great - last night we had a drum and vocal sesh that went awesome!! We have a deadline this saturday - the track HAS to be done that night. We're gonna make it though! Anyhow it hurts to type and i hear the TV, a bottle of generic cola, and some pizza calling my name......

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Hijacked!!!

2009-06-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the third time (in three weeks, mind you) that Nathan has left himself logged in on my computer. I decided that it is high-time for me to do something to teach him a lesson. (hahahaha)

So, I'm not going to do anything mean... just hijacking. =P

Nathan, you are awesome, but please learn to log out of your account on my computer. Hahahahaha...

Peace out, y'all! Blog post coming soon!

~Wesley

the Quest Award

2009-06-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well, last night i was given the Quest Award for "Consistent demonstration of Christ Like Character". I say "given" because i know it's definitely not deserved or even merited. I can think of so many of you, namely Brandon, Wesley, Adam, Matt, (if yall went to the church) Eric, and so many others that are far more godly than i am... I wish they had been the ones to recieve this... so i want to do something. I want to point out a few of my dear friends who have been such an example to me, namely....

Wesley. My friend you have been such an example to me through all the years we've been friends. Your quiet strength has really kept me in line time after time, and you're never afraid to point out sin in my life, and even though you're a teenage guy too, you always make sure i watch my speed in driving =P Man i appreciate your friendship and godliness so, so much. There is so much i could share about your character, but we're so close i think you pretty much know what i would say :-) Love you much, brother.

Brandon. Man you're an unmovable rock for the Gospel. You're a picture of God's strength, even in your weakness. You will be an invaluable asset to God's kingdom in your life my friend, and i'm excited for everything God has for you as you pursue a life of serving others as an NA and otherwise!

Adam, Matt. I wanted to list yall together to encurage you both as brothers - it's such a wonderful thing to see the kind way you relate to each other, which is quite a rare thing nowadays for brothers so close in age. My friends you both show such enthusiasm for the things of God, and i don't know anybody else who can get everyone so fired up for God like you two can, just with your enthusiastic, warm, and kind personalities. I'm so excited to be working so closely with you two and Wesley in AMP - such a blessing.

Eric. My friend you have never been at a loss for words =P Sometimes that can be a very good thing, as you're never afraid to speak the truth, especially when it hurts. Sometimes you're the only one who dares to. Your pursuit of God above everything is encouraging and truly awesome. I'm always amazed how easy it seems for you to give up things i know you want in light of The Greater Things even though i know it must be as excrusciatingly difficult as it is for the rest of us. You are an excellent example.

Zach. Bro we've grown up together, shared so many wonderful times. You've matured into such a responsibly young man who i look up to :-) You've been an awesome older brother to me and i'm thankful for your friendship and example, and how you constantly strive for a higher standard of Godliness so unselfrighteously!!

Now for a few girls...

Melly. The award was well given to you, my friend :-D I want to add my encouragement to that of your parents, your caregroup leaders, and your other friends - everything they said was so true Melly! You are such a Godly young woman, exhibited in so many ways. What a blessing to have grown up with you sister :-D

Emily. I'm positive you've been lying to me about your age and you're really 18 or older =P How else could you be such an example of a Godly woman? Your quiet kindness, meekness, and true gentleness are exactly what a young woman should exhibit. Your organizational abilities, gifts of encouragement, compassion, and love for people will be used by God

Morgan. I don't really know you all that well still, but i know you have a heart for God and His work - it's demonstrated in your constant kindness and servitude! I've seen how you selflessly care for your little siblings without any complaint that i've seen, and i know God is pleased in that :-)

Keri. You've been through way too much for any girl to handle this year, and even though it has worn you down, it has not destroyed you. You rest on God constantly in your trials, and you always run to Him in your pain. You're a true example of a strong Godly woman and i have much enjoyed our friendship. Keep running to God, my friend.

Janelle. You're a great friend, and your meekness is demonstrated time and time again in your selfless service to your friends and your very large family =P You are a sweet, Godly gal and i can always see your extreme concern and love for people evident so much in you!

There are so many others i could talk about, Josiah, Garett, Mark, Marissa, Kailey, Ming, Samantha, to name just a few of you... i am so encouraged by each of your examples of how a Godly young man or woman should be, and i wish i could talk about all of you but Blogger and time simply won't let me! I think this has gotten vewwy vewwwy sappy but i just wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your Godly example :-D Love you much dear friends!

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One Hundred Dollars

2009-06-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

Oh my lordy it's been a month since i posted this here blog.... 0.o Well i guess what i said last post was not true haha - my life did not, has not, and WILL not slow down.... can you believe that? I don't have highschool now because it's summer, my classes are all wrapped up for this semester, and i don't currently have a job. But that hasn't stopped life from being crazy... i have not been bored in forever and a half... ok so here's what's kept me unbored this past month:

Time with God (less time than i should be spending)

AMP and all it's stuffs (67% of my time)

My solo acoustic project (130% of my time)

My music myspace (done, mostly)

Facebook (i know, i know =P)

Looking for a job (less time than i should be spending)

Eating (Hahaha apparently this is 100% of the time, according to my band =P)

Time with friends (just the right amount :-D)

On the phome with the Phone Company From Hell (WAYY too much time..... .. ..)

Life, and all it's randomness (4000% of my time)

Everything else (whatever percent is left haha)

Yeah that's my life now haha. And i don't feel like giving a play-by-play of my life this past month, most of you know too much already haha. I love life. Most of the time =P

Since you know what's up with me personally, i'm gonna change tack for a minute and come back with a bang... I want to talk about something that's been frustrating me the past few months... Have you noticed at church, the girls talk to the girls, and the guys talk to the guys. And if you break the mold and either join the other group or talk to *gasp* the other sex you MUST like that person! Ugh it gets on my nerves so much. I mean i know girls need girl time and guys need guy time (not as much as girls need girl time i think though =P) but seriously - why don't we teens at crossway take a quote "risk" (!!!) and talk to someone other than our own type? And oh.... God forbid if a guy or a girl hugs each other... that's just wrong. Don't you know we could get cooties??? 0.o It's been a lot better recently though i gotta say. It still frustrates me to look around church and see all guys in one group and all girls in another... right next to each other!!! And it irritates me personally for being called a "ladies man" or worse when i try to change it. Is it so wrong to want to spend time in fellowship with my sisters?? I don't know... I know the dangers with all this, and i know personally for us guys how we're supposed to guard girls' hearts, but yeah... i don't know you guys. What do you think? I know for a fact i'm not the only one that shares this opinion... i'm done ranting on it though =P

Ok so i'm sure i got your attention with the blog title =P hehe that's a song by my *current* favorite band, Manchester Orchestra!! :-D They are truly incredible - they remind me of Death Cab for Cutie meets The Beattles and Ted Nugent haha. (Bravo if you know who those bands are, and you're not like someone who has spent more than 30 minutes with me haha) So here's the lyrics of One Hundred Dollars. Hehe.

Several fishing magazines
Stacked up on top a fake picture of me
When I tried to call
No one answered

It's not even that I'm all angry

Just kind of confused why you do this thing
You said, theres an understanding
I offer you a small dog in the kitchen
I just wanted you to feel at home
And that's why I'm fine
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine
I just need 100 dollars

And I am fine, I am fine, I am completely fine
I just need 100 dollars
From you
And you and you
And you and you

Worship :-)

2009-05-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I can finally post again!! I've had a ton of preperation to do for worship, and now that that's done with for now i can relax and get back to some sense of normalcy =P

Well tonight for those that weren't there, i led worship along with my band for Q222 Youth Group tonight. Welllll....

Ohhh man....... you know as i was thinking about the worship set tonight, i thought "Ohh i did so awful!!! Transitions were shaky, i totally trainwrecked the start (guitar was in regular tuning instead of Drop D like needed!), I sounded like a gopher on steroids, WHAT was up with my guitar, and OH MY GOSH i was so nervous...." But then as i talked to folks and discussed everything with my parents, i was amazed to hear that people were actually led into worship tonight!! And it wasn't anything that my amazing band did, it's definitely not anything i did, and it's nothing we could have done - it was ALL the Holy Spirit!!! I continuously prayed that God would use our broken vessels to lead the youth group to worship, and that's exactly what He did - along with showing me how broken my vessel really is =P The funny thing is when we started i thought "Yeah, we got this!! It's GOOD! Yeah!!" and then... trainwreck =P I firmly believe that was God saying... "Ummmm... NOPE!!" Haha i just hate that everyone had to "suffer" through my lesson =P Well, all-in-all, i think i'm overanalyzing this. I just pray that everyone was served, and that we were able to be the vehicle with which God ministered to even just one person... it was all worth it, all the weeks and weeks of practice, the stress, the late nights pouring over scripture, if just one person was led into worship... And i for one would love to hear yall's thoughts on all this, critisism, admonishment, suggestions, or any critique you might have :-) Let me know!!

Well it's very late..... i've got to end this now. I'll try to post soon! Peace yall, i really enjoyed spending time with yall my dear dear friends :-) Love yall :-D

Oh.

POUNDCAKE! =P

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i'm still alive!

2009-04-30T09:12:00.001-07:00

I wanted to shoot off a quick post to say, yes, i'm still alive and kickin, i just haven't posated here in a while. My b yall. I've been super busy with AMP stuff as usual, and school is even more hectic for me here lately. The only thing that hasn't really changed for me this week is i'm still listening to City and Colour and loving it :-) I'm still confused though... and... it just gets deeper. I'm just taking it as it comes, and deciding what to do as i seek God in everything. I've been doing that so much lately. So much peace from that....

Well anyhow...

I LOVE american Idol! The top 4 are amazing and i look forward to their upcoming albums! Because you know when they get voted off, they still get recording deals... yep that makes ma happy :-)

Ah one last thing before i head to Bojangles to meet Zach - i just wanted to let you know i took a quiz on facebook about how well i know women, and i scored 100% :-D :-D Yep, it said i'm an expert on the most difficult field on Earth - Girls :-D Hahahaha... Yes, be jealous, guys. =P Hahaha.

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Praise you Lord!!!!

2009-04-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

Oh i'm so happy right now! And concerned... and anxious... and excited... and most of all, humbled... what an honor!!! Ohhh i can't share why... you will all see very very soon!!! :-D :-D

Day Old Hate

2009-04-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well.

i am LOVING City and Colour. They have such a rich, sad acoustic sound. Morgan i think you'd really enjoy them. Such a lonely sound, poignant and beautiful. (the title is one of their songs)

I'm happy, because my cell phone provider is i think FINALLY going to make everything OK with my phone after shipping me TWO broken phones...! And, they changed their plans, and now for 5 bucks more than i pay now i get DOUBLE the minutes i usually do!! So now monthly i have 300 anytime and 1,000 night and weekend minutes :-) they asked me "Would you like to switch?" i was like "Heck yes!!" haha.

AMP is meeting tomorrow - you better be there =P

ohhh lately i've been so confused........ this is not the place to say why........

Later on, i'm planning to just drive and drive... i'm going to do what Keri suggested and drive back and forth on the Highland Creek Parkway... i love that road, especially this time of year. And i love knowing that so many friends live close by, so it's never lonely.

Life is good, you know? Morgan said that earlier and i agree wholeheartedly. There might be problems, but more than life being good, God is good. And that makes life good :-D Something to consider. :-)

Did i mention how much i love City and Colour?

haha

well i am headin' out.

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Thoughts....

2009-04-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

I just love Far From Home by Classic Crime. Matt showed me the song on Monday and since then i've been listening to it almost constantly. Haha i think i'm repeating Morgan though =P

Yall, lately i've noticed i'm becoming a lot diferent, a lot quieter, and more thoughtful. Now i rarely say anything except for that which needs to be said. And i've noticed that one of my favorite activities is to put on an acoustic alternative song and stare at the wall and just think. This is very unlike me. I noticed i was acting this way tuesday when i went to frisbee... Brandon told me that i was almost a diferent person than i was on Sunday, and Keri said i was acting very chill, and wondered what was wrong.....absolutely nothing. I'm very happy now, i'm just very quiet and thoughtful now too. Am i just maturing, moving past from the crazy wacked-out fella i've been? Not real sure. I just know that i've only said about 2 words in the past 2 hours. Maybe this is a good thing? I know i've annoyed some of you with some of my crazy actions, and while i don't feel i've been being immature, maybe it will be good to be a lot more chill from now on. I feel talked out from posting on this blog - that never happens.

You know i haven't posted anything deep on here in a long time - and i figured since i'm spending so much time thinking lately, i may as well post some of my thoughts... lately i've been thinking about Emotionalism and Sentimentalism. It's what puts those extra zeros on the checks in movie and music producer's wallets, what causes you to enjoy a movie. Emotionalism basically means "Emotion for it's own sake" - it's basically the enjoyment of emotion. See when you watch a movie, or listen to music, you're unconsciously expecting to be moved by it. If you watch a movie or listen to music without it making you happy, sad, angry, wishful, fearful joyful, or any other emotion, you consider it a waste of time, and a bad movie or piece of music. Everyone can fall into the trap of conjuring up emotion for it's own sake. And it's a trap, and a bad one too, trust me. See you can go to church on sunday, get stirred up by the music, excited by the preaching, and go home and think that you've "met God" when really all you've done is satisfied your appetite for emotion. Now i'm not saying you should go to church and not be moved by the music or stirred by the preching, God gave us music to enjoy, and he gave us His word to stir us and encourage us. What i'm saying is to be mindful of the distinction between the conjured-up feeling of emotion, and the actual truth from God. Does this make sense? If not i'll rethink it and repost it in a way that does. I have more to say on this subject, but right now i have to head on out.

to quote Ming: Life, kids. Life.

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A little ol' post

2009-04-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Nobody posts on their blogs anymore, me less than anyone. That's disappointing. I know we have so much to say, i talk to yall on the phone or in person and we always have a lot to say... are we all just so busy?? I guess that's the case for me. Ecxcept for right now. I have absolutely nothing to do for another hour i guess until i meet Ying at Dilworths :-) So i figured why not set a good example and post on my little old blog :-D

Well lately i've been thinking about how much i have to be thankful for. But, i haven't listed everything recently - i think that would be a good idea, even though i did this on thanksgiving. I've said a lot of these, so i'll just keep each item short and sweet.

God!

my wonderful family.

my dear, dear friends!

a car with gas in it :-)

my licence :-) I love that freedom...

coffee at dillworths, and that amazing carrot-raison muffin :-D

the AWAKE MUSIC PROJECT!!!

youth group :-)

new friends

tennis! And in-depth sweet conversations while nailing tennis balls into the netting :-)

facebook! and the ability to know when to get off :-)

my beater of an acoustic guitar :-D :-D that beautiful piece of junk has seen so much use and abuse =P

my amazing amazing electric guitar! I just don't feel like me without it slung around my neck :-)

frisbee! Otherwise known as an excuse to get a bunch of friends together =P

Purevolume, Myspace, and Facebook fan pages, where AMP can be heard and get advertised for free!!

the excitement of playing live shows, and getting ready for the next one :-)

audio engineering class :-)

lunch with Zach each thursday at Bojangles!!

my internship with engineer Robert McClure, one of the elite audio engineers in the south :-)

Thursday worship practice, and the ability to run the sound board :-)

church sunday morning!

sweet sweet songs like Captivated by Vicky Beeching, which i'm listening to right now :-)

little things, like the feeling of sitting inside playing guitar on a rainy day

my phone, which has been extablished as the thing i can't live without, and my computer!

the amazing shows on Fox, which have provided many enjoyable times with my dad and just by myself on a late night.

band meetings in the sweigart's basement :-)

AMP general meetings in the Davis's creepy basement =P

My voice! I'm so happy that i can sing well :-) (and just a tip - NEVER tell me to be quiet while i'm singing well - you wanna see me mad?? Just try that. C'mon. Try it.)

Singing and playing guitar with you girls :-) It's so wonderful to hear yall sing - i don't think i tell you that enough :-)

Being totally crazy at Youth Group and getting away with it =P =P (Like chasing Josiah through the parking lot yelling like a 5 year old!! =P)

The peace only found through God. Nothing like it, yall :-)

Praying with friends, and enjoying true fellowship as we ponder the awesomeness of God.

The ability to enjoy music, especially that played by friends.

That creative spark that happens when experienced, talented musicians get together to play music, and the wonderfylly humbling opportunity i have to channel that into something truly inspirational and wonderful!

so, so much more...

and...

all the sweet sweet times with you wonderful friends... This is probably the most amazing blessing God has allowed me to enjoy. I love each and every one of you and the times we've shared. What a humbling joy to be able to share our lives with each other, for as short or as long as God allows it. Whenever i think of you friends i'm close to now i'm filled with such joy. And also what a deep sadness i feel as i think of you dear dear friends who i've lost over the years due to my own selfishness and pride.... i'm still bitterly angry with some of you for so many things... and most of them are all my fault. I've been thinking about this so much lately. I'm on the road a lot, and so sometimes i'll just turn off the music, roll up the windows, and sit in silence for a while. I miss you so much... But i praise God for bringing dear friends in my life to help me bear this, and i'm so happy to be able to share everything with you... So many of those things up there, like Dillworths, Bojangles, and tennis, i'm thankful for because of those opportunities to share life with you. What wonderful friends you are.

One last thing, i've been listening to this song a lot lately, and i think Emily said that it was the prayer of her life. Well, it's mine too, especially this line...

"May my life be one unbroken gaze, fixed upon the beauty of Your face!"

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flyby

2009-04-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

wow i haven't posted in forever - life's been so busy!! The Awake Music Project has been extremely time-consuming, which has been great!! But that combined with college and life makes me have almost no time for this blog. In fact i'm running out the door as we speak (well i'm not running out the door yet, that would be difficult to type while doing) and so i gotta rap this up yo. I LOVED the art festival, so much talent was represented by so many of the kids!!! I'm seeing some future AMP members among some of them :-) Annnnd - i'm so proud of my band!!! AMP delivered a flawless performance thanks to the creativity and musical genius of the band!! Love you guys :-D Well i want to post more about the festival later, because it was so inspiring!! And i want to talk about a few that i was absolutely amazed by... but not now. I've really gotta GO!! AMP meeting all day tomorrow, and then YOUTH GROUP!!! Love yall, seeya :-D

2009-04-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

See you there..! :-)

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Nervous Breakdown.

2009-03-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

I've been blocking. I figured it out. I've been so much wanting my life to be good now that i convinced myself that it is. Hey guess what it's not. And it all hit me tonight... I don't know if anybody noticed at youth group tonight, especially towards the end.... all i wanted to do was talk to friends, and laugh. But hey... i had to set up chairs, along with 30 other guys, after working my butt off this morning setting up the ENTIRE special events room, completely resetting the stage, vacuuming, setting up all the chairs in the room, basically rebuilding the entire room, with absolutely NO help from anyone aside from Janelle and Taylor. And that's not to mention that just Janelle, my Dad and i took 5 hours setting up the entire room last night for the performance today. Yeah. So... i wasn't too happy with being FORCED to do even more. And after the day i had..... Not that i didn't want to work, it's just that i was physically unable to. My feet were killing me and i needed to sit down. But nooooo... After the performance i had to drive down to Pineville to drop my dad off where his truck was, and then drive back, in the pouring down rain, in South Tryon traffic. It made me a nervous wreck by the time i got home, and then i found out my Excel test was due that night. I thought it was a check yes or no style test, but it was a LAB!! An Excel Formulas lab!!! So instead of resting like i should have, i had to work my butt off as soon as i got home. Youth group was a lot of fun, but it ended way too soon. And right then i needed friends. Some other news hit me hard that i found out while on the road... some of you know what i mean, i can't really share it here.. but it hit me so hard and i don't know what to do... well i tried to talk to Wesley about it afterwards, but we got YELLED AT because we were TALKING!! I was so furious and at the edge about everything that i had to go somewhere or i was going to absolutely lose it right there... i went in the storage closet, and i am do so glad no one saw me and told me to go back out there.... i don't know what i would have done...... I just need so much prayer, guys.....

*Saturday*
Well things are a little better today than they were yesterday. I was blessed by my cell phone company, who gave me an entire month of service ($50 worth!!) totally FREE since they messed up my phone shipment. This could NOT have come at a better time!! And now i'm getting ready to head to someone's house to pick up a check for $25 as well, which is also much needed. And i'm stil going to the studio sometime this afternoon, and i'm trying to go to the PFO songwriter's concert. So today should be a better day. I still need prayer yall, i can't go into specifics here, but i would really ask that yall remember me in your time with the Lord. Thank yall so much, i'm so blessed to have all of you wonderful friends. :-)

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101th

2009-03-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

Woweee i haven't posted in a while. I just realized i missed my 100th post. So i guess i'll celebrate my 101th post. Here goes.

WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!

Ok that's that then. Anyway. I've been superdeeduperly busy this past week :-) I love being busy. I've been driving like 80% of the time, i'm pretty much always on the road now :-) It is completely amazing - after waiting over a year and a half longer to get my licence than anyone else to get it, now that i finally have it, it's a completely wonderful feeling. I've been able to hang out with people i havent seen in a while, like my friend Aaron T, and do things that i otherwise wouldn't have been able to. Last night i went to Evergreen youth group at branch family, and they asked me to run sound for them, which was amazing. I didn't know the board at all, but i was able to hit it running and i think i did a great job :-D The past few days have been awesome - my life is really going great. I am so thankful, things have been totally turned around from what they were several months ago. The night is darkest just before dawn, i guess. Well more about that later - i'm in Central's PC lab right now, and i've got more quizes to do before meeting Zach at Bojangles. I'm soooo excited about the weekend, tonight i'm going to set up Project 149's dance performance with Janelle, tomorrow morning i have something amazing that i forgot, tomorrow night is YOUTH GROUP!!!!!! And Saturday i'm going to the studio with Beyonce's producer to play around with all the equipment, and then i'm going to the Playing for Others songwriting competition performance :-D Sunday i'll probably be going to the mall with Janelle, Megan, and Kelley. Ok now that i've rambled and randomly read you my calender i'm gonna sign off. Sorry for the worthless post - hey, at least i'm posting again =P

oh and again:

WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

^ I figured i'd celebrate a little more.

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2009-03-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

2009-03-20T20:05:00.002-07:00

FINALLLLLY

2009-03-20T20:05:00.001-07:00

GOT

2009-03-20T20:04:00.000-07:00