Many Thoughts...

Hmmm. Tonight i'm sad. And anxious. Sad that whenever i try to put an end to immaturity and foolish talk, i get slammed with being the bad guy, and when they start with the crude insults and i try to shut that down by ignoring it, they say they "owned" and they say that i just can't handle it. Then I look like the fool and the idiot, and there's nothing i can do about it, except wait for the rumors to start and count how many friends i've lost. I really despise immaturity, mostly because i usually see it in myself. I so want to be wise, mature, and Godly; but i guess the process of growing in wisdom is not an instananeous one. Gosh, how i wish it was. I try to be mature and do the right thing in God's eyes, but i end up sinning and being the immature fool. I hate to say it, but right now i am very, very angry at the people that started the particular situation that has inspired me to write this. I'm angry at myself more, though, because i handled that situation so wrongly, even joining in the foolishness as i endeavored to stop it. Well anyway. I'm anxious too, because right now i'm unable to try to fix the situation, because of several factors, one of which is i am away from my computer (remember that i write in my journal before posting). Even though i can't fix the problem, i always feel better trying, as if God can't do anything. I need to need to need to need to need to remind myself He can do not just something, but EVERYTHING!! Oh, how he can. Lord, help me trust in You. That's all i'll say on this.

Ah tomorrow is Wednesday; which is Caregroup. :-) I love caregroup. Even though i'm the only teen there (it's mostly just adults and little kids) i still feel it is some of the best times of meeting with God i've experienced. I also have the privelege of assisting leading worship, and that is truly a gift from God i experience. To hear 25 voices lifted to God with the accompaniment of my guitar well, it is just, Joy. True beauty. I still need to finish reading what i'm supposed to read for Caregroup, from Paul Tripp's "Quest for More" chapters 6-10 on, ironically, Masquerades. Isn't it just like God to plan things so perfectly in my life where i am reading good, solid truth about something at just the time that i've been thinking and wondering about it?? Praise God, He is GOOD!

Well right now i could not be happier to have so many good, true friends. Every one of you are such a dear blessing to me that as lame as this sounds, i thank God for you every day, and i have all your names written on my white board in my room to remind of God's grace to me through all of you. It is so, so good to have lunch with yall, to go see movies with yall, to have phone conversations with yall, or just simply to have chats online or emails back and forth with yall, and other stuff such as this. You bring much joy into my life. I'm not going to name you, i believe i pretty much already have and i do not want to be redundantly redundant. I do want you to know, those of you i've known for many, many years and those who i've maybe only just gotten to know, that yall mean a lot to me and i care about each of you deeply, even though i might not always show it. Bear with me, i'm only a sinner, and a guy at that :-P Well that's enough of this mushy girly stuff :-P haha.

Well this is a pretty long post. I felt like i needed to post it, though, because i haven't posted since Sunday, and i hate not posting. I guess that's really it, i needed to get all my thoughts on paper. But now i'm done - that's all i'm thinking about. Basically, to boil it down to the thoughts going around in my head: "I hate immaturity, Caregroup is tomorrow, praise God for my awesome friends, i'm tired" Except the first thought is fading and the last thought is becoming more and more adament. Now that i feel much, much better, i think i'l say goodnight. Goodnight!

Oh! Wait hold on - i'll post a song here, just cuz the song is amazing. Praise God for every single bit of truth in this amazing song!

___________________________

"in Christ Alone"

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

____________________________

"Lord, let me be in Christ alone. Amen."