Nervous Breakdown.

I've been blocking. I figured it out. I've been so much wanting my life to be good now that i convinced myself that it is. Hey guess what it's not. And it all hit me tonight... I don't know if anybody noticed at youth group tonight, especially towards the end.... all i wanted to do was talk to friends, and laugh. But hey... i had to set up chairs, along with 30 other guys, after working my butt off this morning setting up the ENTIRE special events room, completely resetting the stage, vacuuming, setting up all the chairs in the room, basically rebuilding the entire room, with absolutely NO help from anyone aside from Janelle and Taylor. And that's not to mention that just Janelle, my Dad and i took 5 hours setting up the entire room last night for the performance today. Yeah. So... i wasn't too happy with being FORCED to do even more. And after the day i had..... Not that i didn't want to work, it's just that i was physically unable to. My feet were killing me and i needed to sit down. But nooooo... After the performance i had to drive down to Pineville to drop my dad off where his truck was, and then drive back, in the pouring down rain, in South Tryon traffic. It made me a nervous wreck by the time i got home, and then i found out my Excel test was due that night. I thought it was a check yes or no style test, but it was a LAB!! An Excel Formulas lab!!! So instead of resting like i should have, i had to work my butt off as soon as i got home. Youth group was a lot of fun, but it ended way too soon. And right then i needed friends. Some other news hit me hard that i found out while on the road... some of you know what i mean, i can't really share it here.. but it hit me so hard and i don't know what to do... well i tried to talk to Wesley about it afterwards, but we got YELLED AT because we were TALKING!! I was so furious and at the edge about everything that i had to go somewhere or i was going to absolutely lose it right there... i went in the storage closet, and i am do so glad no one saw me and told me to go back out there.... i don't know what i would have done...... I just need so much prayer, guys.....

*Saturday*
Well things are a little better today than they were yesterday. I was blessed by my cell phone company, who gave me an entire month of service ($50 worth!!) totally FREE since they messed up my phone shipment. This could NOT have come at a better time!! And now i'm getting ready to head to someone's house to pick up a check for $25 as well, which is also much needed. And i'm stil going to the studio sometime this afternoon, and i'm trying to go to the PFO songwriter's concert. So today should be a better day. I still need prayer yall, i can't go into specifics here, but i would really ask that yall remember me in your time with the Lord. Thank yall so much, i'm so blessed to have all of you wonderful friends. :-)

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