Time with God (less time than i should be spending)
AMP and all it's stuffs (67% of my time)
My solo acoustic project (130% of my time)
My music myspace (done, mostly)
Facebook (i know, i know =P)
Looking for a job (less time than i should be spending)
Eating (Hahaha apparently this is 100% of the time, according to my band =P)
Time with friends (just the right amount :-D)
On the phome with the Phone Company From Hell (WAYY too much time..... .. ..)
Life, and all it's randomness (4000% of my time)
Everything else (whatever percent is left haha)
Yeah that's my life now haha. And i don't feel like giving a play-by-play of my life this past month, most of you know too much already haha. I love life. Most of the time =P
Since you know what's up with me personally, i'm gonna change tack for a minute and come back with a bang... I want to talk about something that's been frustrating me the past few months... Have you noticed at church, the girls talk to the girls, and the guys talk to the guys. And if you break the mold and either join the other group or talk to *gasp* the other sex you MUST like that person! Ugh it gets on my nerves so much. I mean i know girls need girl time and guys need guy time (not as much as girls need girl time i think though =P) but seriously - why don't we teens at crossway take a quote "risk" (!!!) and talk to someone other than our own type? And oh.... God forbid if a guy or a girl hugs each other... that's just wrong. Don't you know we could get cooties??? 0.o It's been a lot better recently though i gotta say. It still frustrates me to look around church and see all guys in one group and all girls in another... right next to each other!!! And it irritates me personally for being called a "ladies man" or worse when i try to change it. Is it so wrong to want to spend time in fellowship with my sisters?? I don't know... I know the dangers with all this, and i know personally for us guys how we're supposed to guard girls' hearts, but yeah... i don't know you guys. What do you think? I know for a fact i'm not the only one that shares this opinion... i'm done ranting on it though =P
Ok so i'm sure i got your attention with the blog title =P hehe that's a song by my *current* favorite band, Manchester Orchestra!! :-D They are truly incredible - they remind me of Death Cab for Cutie meets The Beattles and Ted Nugent haha. (Bravo if you know who those bands are, and you're not like someone who has spent more than 30 minutes with me haha) So here's the lyrics of One Hundred Dollars. Hehe.
Several fishing magazines
Stacked up on top a fake picture of me
When I tried to call
No one answered
Stacked up on top a fake picture of me
When I tried to call
No one answered
It's not even that I'm all angry
Just kind of confused why you do this thing
You said, theres an understanding
I offer you a small dog in the kitchen
I just wanted you to feel at home
And that's why I'm fine
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine
I just need 100 dollars
You said, theres an understanding
I offer you a small dog in the kitchen
I just wanted you to feel at home
And that's why I'm fine
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine
I just need 100 dollars
And I am fine, I am fine, I am completely fine
I just need 100 dollars
From you
And you and you
And you and you
I just need 100 dollars
From you
And you and you
And you and you
__
11 comments:
you have no idea how much that frustrates me too...
Wow, yeah you needed to post!
Oh boy. That's a big topic. hmmm. I agree but I also disagree. Let me think about a good way to explain what my view is and then I'll make a nice long comment on it, lol =P
Congrats on your post. =P
I'm kinda with Emily... I do agree, but I don't agree at the same time. If I end up saying the exact same thing that you were going to say, Emily, just reply over me, I'd like to hear your words, too. =)
It definitely does frustrate me when teens are "segregated." I mean, it's not like there's something wrong with guys talking to girls and vice-versa. It's actually a good thing... a lot of the time... because we're all brothers and sisters and we need to treat each other that way. Do guys ever talk to their biological sisters? Duh! Of course! Do they ever hug their biological sisters? Of course, again. There are a lot of similarities between a relationship between a guy and his biological sisters and his "other" sisters (and vice-versa for the girls).
There are, however, some differences between the two. For one thing, "other" sisters aren't actually sisters. For the most part, I don't know girls outside of my family near as well as I know my "real" sisters. I don't believe you were thinking along these lines, but it wouldn't be appropriate for me to talk with a girl outside of my family about some of the things I might within my family.
Also, the amount of time that a guy spends talking with girls (or vice-versa) is an issue. If a guy spends as much or more time talking with girls as he does with guys, he needs to back up a little bit. There are many more valuable lessons to be learned from someone of the same gender than of the opposite. I mean, there's a lot you can learn about girls from girls, but how much is it really going to benefit you? As I said, it is a great thing for a guy to talk to girls because he can learn things, and it helps build the "siblingly" (new word there...) relationship. But at the same time, in the end, it will all be about one woman, so strong relationships with guys will be more valuable to a guy (or girls to a girl) in the long run.
And hugging... that's another issue entirely. It all depends on the heart-posture.
That's about all I've got to say, I hope it made sense.
Believe it or not, I typed up something so long that it wouldn't allow me to post it. It wasn't under 4,096 characters. So, I'm going to post it in two different comments. I really can't believe I made it *that* long. It's sort of a whole blog post in and of it's self. Really sorry about that. You don't have to read the whole thing if you don't want to. lol.
Part 1:
Well, I completely agree with you Wesley. I don't really have to say anything else and I don't think I can really explain it any better, but since you want me to put it in my own words, I guess I will =)
Oh and Nathan, I'm not necessarily suggesting that you were talking about what I am addressing below. But I just sorta got going with it and typed this whole thing up. ;) =P
1 Timothy 5 says: Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. There are a few differences, however between biological siblings and 'other' siblings. I think that when the Bible tells us to treat the opposite sex like brothers(or sisters) I believe it's referring to the purity in way siblings love and care for each other. Rather than the actual relationship they have. If that makes sense.
Part 2:
You(not specifically you Nathan, I'm using you generally) really gotta do a heart check on this. Although we may desire to have lots of 'siblings' of the opposite sex, there can often be competing motivations with these relationships in our hearts. Solomon says: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. And in Proverbs it says: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm." Are we really guarding our hearts, do we have the right motivations and are we taking 'level paths and ways that are firm' in our relationships with the opposite sex?
Also, it's not so much a problem of if you talk to or spend time with girls, but also how you do it(as in, are you spending time with girls individually or in a group with other guys and girls?), Chow often and are you being tempted or possibly tempting someone else or causing someone else to stumble. 1 Corinthians 10:23,24 & 32 says: "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. Do not cause anyone to stumble.
If a guy has more friends that are girls than guys and spends just as much or more time with girls than he does with guys, no matter what the motivation, that needs to change. Guys got to spend time with other Godly guys. Wes is right, there is a lot more on can learn and potential growth when one is spending time with those of the same sex. That's how a guy grows in Bibical manhood/masculinity. Provberbs 27:17--"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Wesley is also very right when he talks about the long run. One day, most of us will likely be married. When we get to that point, really the only real close friend of the opposite sex we'll have is our spouse. The only time we'll spend individually with friends is going to be with the same sex. Even now, I think the only *individual* time we spend with friends should be the same sex for the most part. I think keeping that in mind can help keep us in tune to what really matters in our friendships. If a guy hurts a lot of his guy friends because he only wants to spend time with girls or vise versa, then he could be hurting some possible forever friends for a girl(s) that will likely only be acquaintances one day. Does that make any sense?
Also, the Bible talks of Christian men being well respected by other Christians. While technically we only need to be pleasing to God and it doesn't matter what all others think, I do think it is pleasing to God and glorifying to Him for us to be well respected and have a good reputation. That means being wise and avoiding situations that, even though may have pure motivations, may be misinterpreted. I'm talking about misinterpreted by the individual or others around watching.
I definitely believe that friendships with the opposite sex are not wrong at all and are a gift from God...especially around our ages. However, I think it just takes a lot of wisdom, prayer and a lot of good friends of the same sex and parents to be there holding us accountable and keeping us on the right path. =)
And about hugging. Like Wesley said, that's a whole other can of worms. One *really* needs to check their heart with that. I think keeping in mind some of the verses above could help with making wise decisions in that area. But also 2 Tim. 2:22 and 1 Tim 4:12.
I agree and disagree with you Nathan, once you graduate it's not as big of a deal to talk to the opposite sex because normally by the time you enter the college ministry, you've reached a maturity level or will very quickly reach a maturity level that will allow for a little more freedom to interact with the opposite sex without rumors being started as easily. While you're still in highschool, the maturity level (i don't care who you are or how mature you think you are) sucks.
You still have to be completely aware of how you are affecting the opposite sex and not only what your heart and head are saying but what you are causing their hearts and heads to say. you have to take desperate and crazy measures to protect your sisters on a daily basis and not let anything sway anyone's gaze from the Lord. Because ultimately, no matter if you never speak to a girl or if you get married, God needs to be glorified...and as you know "God is most glorified, when we are most satisfied in HIM" not in talking to the opposite sex, or recording music, or reading, or doing whatever your hobby is.
I do agree that I wish we could stop all the clique's and the segregation going on without creating rumors. But being someone who was the focus of the "rumor mill" for a very long time...I have to say it probably will not happen until you get out of the youth group. Good luck trying to change things, but sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles, and this is one that I would say is worth it but you have to know the right time and place to do it...and for people our age...I'm not sure this is the right time for you guys to fight it...college will lend you more opportunities to take a stand, but for now...it's just something ya got to give to the Lord and let HIM change it...wait on him and see what happens.
Oh gosh. Hope I didn't say too much or offend anyone. =/ Maybe I should have just stuck with saying 'I totally agree with Wes'.
haha Emily you certainly didn't offend me....(or Nathan)
If you hadn't already I probably would have typed out something pretty long too haha...but I'll just say that you put it real well and I certainly agree with you.
Just one point that I don't think anyone has brought up yet:
You (Nathan) seem to address this problem as if it's something that is happening in CrossWay. Well the truth is it's something that happens everywhere. In this day and age, and this screwed-up culture, guys and girls are expected to like members of the opposite sex. A lot of people actual wonder why I don't get into relationships with girls (and I find it very sad that people think that way but that's a little beside the point). This kind of thinking is everywhere, so you should expect to see it in CrossWay as well. The good thing is, being a Christian church body, you guys at CrossWay can help deter people from that type of thinking, even if the outside world is still that way (and of course once you have the experience of throwing those thoughts out of the church, you can do your best to help throw that kind of thinking away outside of your church.)
^I hope that made sense lol^
oh btw that 'me' in the first sentence should be italicized haha
Oh my gosh! You guys write a lot of comments. =O
Hey Nathan it's good to see a new post. =D
Wow yall... haha all i gotta say is, great thoughts! And you didn't offend me at all, any of you :-) Great points everyone, i'm not going to expound on this any more, i think you guys covered it =P
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