Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy new yeaR!

Happy new year my good friends! :-D I hope everyone has an amazzzzing time at any parties you might be going to, and try to be good Christians while you're there - remember to designate a driver. =P haha. Well i'm gonna bring in the new year in style - today and tomorrow i'm gonna post three posts, all starting with the letter "R". I'm gonna post: my Rant, my Regret, and my Resolution. And who knows i might even post another "R" just because i feel like it. =P So that's that, look for the first of those posts sometime soon! And
Happy new yeaR!


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Because they're awesome.

So this was my christmas present - my Dad and i went driving on Christmas to take some photos of me for my website (, coming soon!) and we had wayyyy too much fun, and then we came home, and i had wayyy too much fun with The Gimp and Photoshop, and they came out so great i just had to post a couple. Because... they're awesome =P

There's TONS more. If you want to see them all check out:

Oh yeah.

Still miss you Meagan.


Thursday, December 25, 2008


And it repeats itself... >.< Ugh.......


Merry Christmas!

So i feel a little lonely right now. It's Christmas Eve, real late. I shouldn't feel lonely, i just saw all my friends tonight and i had a great time with my family afterwards. But - i do feel lonely. Not sure why, but writing is helping. And texting Ying. Oh and now my favorite song came on the radio... well not really my favorite... but it reminds me of Steph and that makes me laugh =P Well anyway. Christmas is tomorrow!! That makes me happy and sad at the same time. I like everything around Christmas, the whole atmosphere, but i'm sad too... for a couple reasons i can't share. And, because time has seemed to fly by so fast. I remember New Years Eve so clearly... Everything about it. And this new year's eve is just a week from now. Last year seems like the same distance. I've decided - i'm gonna pretend it's 1999 again instead of 2009 - i'm totally gonna break out my Alice in Chains on my Discman when the ball goes down =P Well i'm kidding, even though Alice in Chains is pretty good music... Anyway i can't hold on to the past. It's just hard, you know, to let it go. It's been a great year and i don't really want it to end - even though it's just the numbers changing it feels like something else changes too, like nothing coming up will be the same as it was... Well i probably should have saved this post for New Year's Eve, shouldn't i. Oh that's right - i planned to share my New Year's resolution and my 2009 year plan then. Anyhow this post needs to be more Christmassy-er. How about a picture or three?

Well this was only two. But yeah.

Merry Christmas yall!! I hope it's amazing and that you take time to reflect on the wonderfulness of family and friends, and most importantly, on Jesus Christ our Savior's birth!!

Ugh. Tonight is the 2 year anniversary, Meagan. We had such a great time that night. We were such good friends, and i blew it. I still miss your friendship, after these two years of silence... Why did i do the things i did, and come crawling back so pathetically to beg back your friendship, just so i could have another shot? You gave me many chances, and i blew each of them. I miss you still, i wish i wasn't so creepy then and that i had handled things differently. I also hope that this situation doesn't repeat itself, like i see it doing even now with others... well that's all i guess. No more chances left to take. God, don't let this happen with anybody else...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Eggnog and Milkshakes =P

Wow. Ok so i just had an incredible weekend!!! I'm wiped out but i don't want it to end!! Saturday morning i went to the door hanger thing at the church... and... i'm one of the Three Amigos, along with JP and Melly. It was sweeeeeeet!! That's all i'll say about that =P After that i went to a pretty amazing wedding which was, pretty amazing =P I had some great conversations after, too :-D Then i ran some errands, which was good. Haha Sunday i led worship for the kids again with Keri and Meghan as my vocalists. It was... hilarious. And good!! It was the best we've done so far i think. We had a great time doing that. After that, lunch with the Grafs was awesome, and then THE DAVIS'S!!!!! WOW! Wow. It was oh so awesome for reasons that are better seen than told: photos video ...So yeah one sweeeeeet weekend. Anyway you can wake up now because i promise this part will be less boring. But first rub the sleep out of your eyes and look at this:

Don't you wish you had an amazing light-up pen like mine?? =P

Anyhow - today is Bethany's birthday!!!!!
I hope it's amazing!!!!!

Their surprise party was amazing!!

Haha this was the moment before she was surprised!

Some random group shot :-) My eyes are very scary...

Everyone around the fire..

the entire group. Yes we all had fun that night, i think :-)

Well that's it then. Oh wait i said this would be more interesting... How about this?



Friday, December 19, 2008


Ok i was tagged by emily, and i'm bored now, so why not?? yep...

The Rules

1. Copy the questions and then answer them (post it on your blog).

2. Tag 4 people and let them know you have tagged them.

3. Let the person [who tagged you] know that you have done a post for the tag.

What are your nicknames?
Goodness gracious - i have so many. Starting out... Cheeseburger, Goober, Tater, Nate, Donut, Natune (i love that one - my best buddy Zach gave that one to me over 9 years ago...) there's so many more, i just can't remember them all... oh yes... my favorite one - BJ gave me this one: Jack. That's all i'll say... =P hahahaha

What TV game show or reality show would you like to be on?
a reality show? gosh... Cops =P Not a sthe convicted, of course. But i would like to be the cop that bodyslams the criminal on the trunk =P

What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
well... maybe Batteries Not Included? Maybe Johnny 5? The browns would know.

What is your favorite scent?
Woodsmoke. It reminds me of bonfires and cold nights with friends

If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?
i would put every single bit in savings. After i bought a Bugatti Convertible :-D

What is one place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to?
Florida... soooo many memories there.... I wish i shared those memories with my friends, though. They would have been all the more sweet.

Do you trust easily?
Yes i do. And i always wonder why i get hurt.

Do you generally think before your act, or act before you think?
for little decisions, like talking to somebody, i act before thinking. For big things, like planning my future or designing a graphic or building a PC, i have learned to think before i act.

Is there anything that had made you unhappy these days?
Lots, mainly seeing friends in pain, and relationships broken. What do you do?

What is your favorite fruit?
what a followup question... i'd have to say Bananas (hahahah Ying)

What websites do you visit daily?
Facebook, Gmail, CPCC mail, yall's blogs, my blog, and!!

What is your favorite thing to wear?
my absolutely incredible jeans. I almost never take them off, and i don't really have any others.. don't worry i do take them off to wash them =P

Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
depends on my mood - if it's sunday morning and i have to eat them for breakfast, then noooo i can barely shove them down. If i'm miserable on a wednesday evening home alone watching tv feeling sorry for myself, then yeah i enjoy them. A lot.

What items couldn't you be without during the day?
Phone, radio, wallet, keys, headphones, PC, but yeah, mainly my phone.

What should you be doing right now?
Talking to a friend, but she had to BRB

I tag:
Bethany (you've already been tagged, but this is for good measure =P)

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Ok i'm thinking this post won't have anything at all interesting in it - i just need to write.

I just woke up about five minutes ago, and my guitar students will be here in 30 minutes. I soooo do not want to teach today. I've got too much else to do, and i don't think i can be all bright and chipper and find new ways to show them how to strum. They don't get it, and they don't practice. I will keep having the same lesson, week after week, until they finally take this seriously. They don't want to learn guitar, their moms want them too. No desire. Sometimes it kills it for me - i feel like "Who ISN'T passionate about music and guitar??" I love it so much, and my students ...don't. It steals my joy. I'm sorry, i'm not in a real good mood right now, i feel really sarcastic and irritable. And my spell-checker isn't working, but i don't feel like editing this for typos. Sorry to all you english major types. (of which i am one) Ehhhh i don't know. I'm just frustrated and dissappointed. No one ever learns... maybe i just can't teach. It would help if they at least wanted to learn, though.

i'm gonna do my best to be happier, and talk about things that make me happy. Tonight is frisbee which for the most part is a lot of fun. And there's sunday worship rehearsal at the church! (i'm hoping Wesley can FINALLY come!!) i've got several design projects i'm excited about, and i'm going to my favorite client's home to fix her computer :-) Ok so sharing that made me feel better. i gotta go prepare for the lesson now...


Sunday, December 7, 2008



All that glitters in this world is sure to fade... Away... again...


Friday, December 5, 2008

The most randomest post you'll ever hear, i mean see.

Hey look i'm again copying what everyone else is doing and posting a random thoughts post!! *gasp* !!

i'm proud i didn't start this post with "well"

but... i wish i could say what i'm really feeling right now... instead i have to write cryptic phrases to clue in to the people that know what i mean, well, what i mean. As Ming always says - "Life, kids, life."

i enjoyed my friday evening, i went to deliver a computer to a client, then i went to the Brown's house!!! That was AMAZING. I was just there for a bit, but we got in a pretty sweet jam session - we played "Face down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. That was tons of fun :-D

i love my radio, i don't know what i'd do without it. Somehow i don't feel as lonely while i'm listening to it...

i installed another sound system in my bathroom today. Yes that's right, in my bathroom. That now makes 8 systems total in my room, two surround-sounds for my main room, one for my closet, two in my bathroom, two for my computer, one on my desk, one on top of my piano, and i guess my amps can double as this as well. Wow i guess that makes 11. Yes, be jealous =P =P

i don't have anything to write about. that's why i'm bragging about my sound system, i have nothing else to say.

My heart is broken for friends. So many of you are going through rough times, and i don't know what to do for you except talk to you and pray for you. Guys seriously - ANYTHING you EVER need, call me, email me, Facebook message me, or whatever and let me know!!! If at all possible i will be sooo glad to drop what i'm doing and help you! Seriously. Ok?

Youth group is tomorrow night. I am extremely excited!!! Mainly, to see all of you guys. i seriously cannot wait for tomorrow. Brandon, BJ, Emily, Wesley, Adam, Matt, yall BETTER all be there, or i will be severely dissappointed. =P

Well i've got to be headin' on, but i'll end with something pretty funny - my Dad just got a new Verizon flip phone from work, and he has no clue how to use it - he's always had one of those old Nextel beasts. So there's been some quite humourous moments showing him how to use it or watching him try to figure it out =P =P

So i guess thats it. Bye yall.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


backlogged: Saturday, Nov 29th

Les Paul.
Yall know who that is? I'm sensing some blank stares right now... Well Mr Les Paul is the Source - literrally. You turn on the radio and like what you hear, you need to thank Les Paul! You pick up your electric guitar and play, again, thank Les. If you're Wesley, and you're doing Multitrack recording, thank Mr Les Paul!! See, he invented the electric guitar, he invented the 8-track (the precursor to VHS tape) he invented overdubbing, sampling, and multitrack recording, and he also pioneered virtually every style of music you hear on the radio. Now this is all really random i know, but bear with me, i just watched a special on him, and right now, i'm so inspired to go experiment with my own music equipment, but it's too late to turn on my amps... i figured i'd do the next best thing and tell you about it! :-D So i'm super amazed at Les Paul. He is my hero!!!! He rocks so hard!!! Seriously!!! Like WOW!!! His genius is astonishing, he pioneered virtually everything in the Music Industry, He's still alive too!!! At 94, he still plays every Monday night at a little club in Chicago, and he can play every bit as amazing as he did 60 years ago. He's hilarious too! I can't remember a quote though. :-/

So anyway - this special i watched had my attention until they started talking about Les's homemade studio - then it REALLY had my attention!! See Les Paul recorded every hit record he had (and he had a whole lot of them) in his living room, in his bathroom, his kitchen, hallway, bedroom, and foyer of his house!! Now that's what i try to do - record songs in my room. Now i've got great equipment, easy to use recording interfaces, documents on recording, help from the web, top of the line instruments, and great mics, plug-ins, cables, amps, connectors, mixing boards, amazing multitrack recording, sampling, mastering, remastering, and editing software, and every other modern advantage. Even with all that, it's excruciatingly difficult for me to produce something that sounds half-decent. Les Paul had a crappy mic, a homemade electric guitar made of a railroad spike, copper wire, and wood, homemade equipment he made from 1930's technology, and ancient tape... Nothing at all, really, save for his inventions. And yet, his recordings were dynamite, his sound unheard of, each song a classic hit revered world-wide even today. What's the difference? WHY was he unparalleled, even today?? Has to be Genius. And i'm so inspired after hearing about this Genius - i can't wait to get into the studio!!! And if you're interested at all in music recording, music appreciation, or even music listening, go research Les Paul, Music Pioneer, and aptly nicknamed "The Source" Go on, now. I'm gonna go play guitar quietly now, because i can't wait till morning. Goodnight.


current: Thursday, Dec 4th

Well it's late night (or early morning) early early Thursday morning, and i thought i'd post this. I kinda forgot to post it then, but it still holds true for now - i still think Les Paul is amazing, and i still can't wait to get in the studio tomorrow and cut a track i've been working on since Saturday... wish me luck. Well i am going to bed now. So for the second time this post,


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Well i'm wondering why i'm writing right now - i have absolutely nothing to say. I'm also wondering why i start almost every post and almost every paragraph of those posts with "well". Anyhow. (hahaha Emily) I've sat here trying to think of what to write about for the past-Oh and this isn't helping - a song just came on the radio reminding me of what i CAN'T write about. Uggghhh blogs are so impersonal. Talk to me in person sometime and i'll let you in on what i mean, although the people with whom mutual care exists already know exactly what i'm talking about, or close to it anyway. (For those that are my close friends that don't know what i mean, i don't say this to exclude you.) Oh why am i wasting your time talking about talking about something i can't talk about. I think i'm lonely now, even though i spent the entire day with friends, and all yesterday too. Maybe it's suddenly finding myself by myself is what happened and why i feel like this. Well i'm gonna suck it up and go to bed now, and think of all my good friends, and all i have to be thankful for.


Oh by the way, it's December now. That deserves a picture.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

So much to be thankful for...

Well it's Thanksgiving, and since so many people had the great idea to post their many blessings and everything they are thankful for, i figured i should do the same. I barely 
know where to start - i've been so abundantly blessed. Well i'll take a shot at this...

First of, i'm so thankful that Christ died on the cross for me!! Such love displayed that day... i am so grateful for the saving power of the Gospel. Where would i be today without Him??!?

I'm extremely thankful for me wonderful parents, they are an incredible blessing to me, and even though i don't show it usually i am so grateful for the four hour "conversations" on the couch =P They have molded and shaped my character in wa
ys nothing else really could. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Oh wow. I don't know what to say about al my wonderfully amazing friends!! I know life would be so lacking, dull, empty, and lonely without all of yall's friendship. I thank God for all of you, particularly Brandon, BJ, Chad, Wesley, Zach, Hayley, Melly, Eric, Ying, Emily, and Sammy B. I have had so many good times with all of you, those listed and those not, i am so glad i know each and every one of you. From writing music with Wesley, to laughing so hard i cry with Brandon and BJ, to riding down the road just cruisin' with Zach laughing at Sammy's hilarious rando
m thoughts, to enjoying another "good story" of Chad's to long conversations with Emily, to retarded jokes back and forth with Ying, to just general fun with Mel and Eric, to many many many text messages with Hayley, and everywhere in between with everybody else, it's been so great to know all of you! Thanks for the great memories everybody. Look
ing forward to many many many more great times with yall!! :-D

Ok bear with me this gets confusing...

i'm thankful for...

my guitar and piano, always right there when i need to "get a song out" what amazingness!!

my radio, i'm not an Ipod kinda guy :-
P I love the spontenaity!

my amazing amazing amazing phone, whish has cost me hundreds and hundreds this year already but which i don't care i spent that much because of all the good stuff i've been able to do with it - gotta love all the texts and phone calls. And the camera's nice too! =P

New paper in my blog/journal, cuz without it i'd be writing this on the back of a book =P

Sappy country music, sometimes it's the only thing that calms me down when i'm angry. And to think i didn't even like it at one time... what would i do without it??!

Long drives with friends or by myself, and a hand out the window.

my jobs!!!! because without all my freelance stuff i wouldn't be able to afford like anything =P (insert small personal ad here) If you're looking for someone to design custum Graphic/web material, you want a nice framed print for your living room, or you need a computer fixed, let me know, i can help ya!! (end small personal ad) =P

Gmail, Blogger, Facebook, my numerous 
hobbies, which, if i didn't have them, would leave me bored and tired all the time! Harris Teeter, (lol) Church, Youth Group, Frisbeee!!!!! Several events at the church where i can go just, well, because haha. Spontaneous things that put a little fun and wildness in life, and so, so so much else!!! I've been writing for long enough, and if i listed (or could remember, even) everything, i'd be here til Dawn! Oh one more thing - simple things. Like this song...

"Chicken Fried"
Zac Brown Band

You know I like my chicken fried
Cold **drinks** on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up...

...Well its funny how it`s the little things in life that mean the most...


I'm also thankful for times such as sitting in a car with so many good friends doing nothing but singing this song as loud as we can, laughing, and eating old potato chips =P These are the special times. Thank you for these times, Lord.

^ World's biggest smiley =P


Tuesday, November 25, 2008


haha well i was tagged by Bethany, Matt, Emily, and Wesley, along with a couple others i think haha... so here we go, i guess i'll continue the game...

Rules:1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
"6 steps to songwriting success" (you can see what i've been reading lately haha)

2. Open to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence, which is:
"You can get song critiques from a variety of sources"

4. Post the next three sentences:
"There are songwriters' organizations throughout the US and some of them provide critiqueing services as part of their meetings (see appendix)"
"The National Academy of Songwriters and the Nashville Songwriters ascosiation International are among the organizations that offer their members proffesional song evaluations through the mail.""
"There are also workshops and classes where you may be able to get a professional opinion"

Well there you go, now you know who to contact is you ever write a song. How about that. Aren't you so glad you read this? =P

5. Tag five people. Sorry if i tag someone who's already been tagged...

You know what that's enough.


Well today... Clear, cold, a general winter day. Days like today always make me feel like time has stopped, completely ceasing to exist. Spring follows winter, Summer follows Spring, and so on, but on a day like today it's hard to comprehend the reality. There is only today, and barely that. An illusion of an illusion. The only things that are real - the glow from the computer screen and the movement of the second hand on the clock, marking the passage of something unreal, something nonexistent. Nothing follows Now, Tomorrow is Today, Today is Tomorrow, and Everywhere in Between is right where it should and shouldn't be. There is only this, the sun warming the window, shadow transcending space to rest on Time... this is all. all. all.


^ that's what i was thinking about earlier, and now. It's a little strange, but strangely poetic as well, and i think it says how i feel. Sorry for the strangeness though. I'll write more later...


Friday, November 21, 2008

(no title) ...that will do.

^ That's for Wesley. lol. I searched for "random" on Google, and this was the first image that came up!!! How awesome is THAT??


i'm wondering why i'm sitting here writing this... i have nothing to say. i guess i'm bored, and i hate this kind of bored, because it's the kind of bored where you have tons of stuff to do but not really want to do any of it... I was hoping to go to Brandon and BJ's choir performance in concord, but by the time i got there it would be over, so i'm a little disappointed sitting here doing nothing. I'm listening to a song i had forgotten about, ironically titled "Unforgotten" lol. It's actually on the Halo 3 soundtrack, but it's so beautiful you wouldn't think it came from a video game. I wish i could play piano like that. Well anyways. Today was Project 149 Dance Ministry's performance - i ran sound and did tech stuff like that for Jannelle and her girls (and strangely... boys 0.o) and it turned out great, except for the fact that i kept messing up because of A) faulty equipment, B) misunderstood instructions, and C) my own inability and forgettfulness. But like i said it turned out well, despite me that is =P (once again BJ sorry about the drop d thing!) Everyone did great. I really enjoyed staying aferwards and cleaning up, i got to spend time with my main man Taylor H and Jannelle, which was a lot of fun - i ended up staying until almost 4, even though everything ended at 12:30 haha. I got home and ate a great ham sandwich which i made myself (i'm very proud) and a great cold rootbeer. And now i'm out of rootbeer. *makes note to get more rootbeer* After that i just spent a while making calls and trying to work out transporting a keyboard (long story) And so... yeah. (as Chad would say) right now i'm not doing anything particularly important, although... ok i'm gonna go do something important. Bye. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for wasting your time reading this boring, senseless post :-D

Thursday, November 20, 2008

a small contradiction

Well i'm actually BORED right now, kind of a contradiction from my last post. I feel like i'm in the eye of the storm - my guitar student just left, my mom is gone for a little bit, and i'm sitting back with a cool drink taking a breather waiting to (procrastinating) get the merchandize ready to load into the car so we can drive to Fort Mill. So i guess i COULD be really busy right now if i wanted to be, but i'm bored because i'm online and nobody else is, and i've already read everybody's recent blog posts (which were all amazing, by the way) So i decided to do a new post, a little pointless one that has no deep meaning. Quite contrary to what i'm listening to. i'm listening to some System of a Down, and let me tell ya, they are amazing. I can guarantee that none of you would like them, though. They are a mix of psychadelic/hard/armenian folk/just plain wierd rock. Their lyrics are extremely controversial, very anti-socialism and very sarcastic and bitter. I love them :-D So that wraps up my excessively boring post, which was more of an ad for S.O.A.D. haha

oh here's a taste of lyrics from System:

...Breaking into Fort Knox 
Stealing our intentions
Every city, gripped in oil
Crying freedom!
Handed to obsoletion
Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
la la la la la la la la la la (ooh-oo)
Everybody is going to the party
Have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
Blowing up the sunshine
Blast off, it's party time
And we all live in a fascist nation
Blast off, it's party time
And where the heck are you?...

Well that's a taste of what they're like. lol. Maybe i shouldn't listen to them, it makes me want to go start a revolution. haha. Anyways....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Wow it's been a long time since i've written. Life has been SO busy, i honestly haven't had time to catch my breath, think, or do anything else beyond what's on my to-do list, much less post. Things have been good, for the most part, except for that awful nagging feeling that i haven't done everything i've needed to. I work so much now, i try to relax whenever possible because if i don't i'll go crazy. I'm always either working or sleeping, and since i work feelance (which really comes out to be about 3 full-time jobs) usually those are done immediately following each other! Tonight was very nice, though, i went to the Harris's and played many tasty jams with Chad that, even though it was all improv (i was rythym guitar he was lead guitar) i'd say each jam was good enough for an album - i wish i could remember evertything we played, and i hope we didn't annoy the family too much! Sorry for the loud music, Morgan - i hope it didn't add to your headache :-( Well i think i'm gonna hit the sack now; it's late and i have an EXTREMELY full day tomorrow - college homework needs to be finished, 3 PC's need to be fixed, all stock merchandize needs to be comopleted and assembled, orders need to be packaged and shipped, i've got to call clients that owe me money to negotiate a fair payment, i need to work out (i HAVE to make that a priority!) i've got caregroup worship tomorrow night to prepare for, i really really really want to find time to work on THE project, i need to call clients for various reasons, i've got to make a housecall to fix a PC, i need to finish my website so my clients can access it after i promised them it would be up and running 2 weeks ago, that big design project for PR needs to be finished (due date fast approaching!!) and i still have to post this!!! Lord help me. Well if you're reading this, that means that i've at least got ONE thing done =P haha

Oh one more thing - check out my favorite quote of the day:

"Ending sentances with prepositions is something i will not up with put" - Winston Churchil

hahahaha. Classy.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Backlogged::: "End of Innocence"

Recently, while going through my big brown notebook, i came across a post that i never published, partly because of its length, and partly because i wanted to make sure it was theologically accurate. I've decided to finally post it here, even though it is fairly old. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know your thoughts on it, because, you see, it's about the Gospel, and i want to be extremely careful that i do not distort the Truth. Read on below, i hope it makes some amount of sense...


"End of Innocence"

There's a song by a not-so-christian band that isn't holy, but it does illustrate a good point. You've probably heard it, it's "Animal i have Become" by Three Days Grace. It's about a poor fella who has, well, lost his innocence, and sinned to the point of losing his identity. He begs for someone, anyone, to help him, to change him, and to help him see himself as more than just, an animal. Now we never hear what happens to this guy, i personally hope he found some answers, but the song ends with that plea "help me change this animal i have become!" Why am i sharing this? I think you and i are that guy. Not out in the open, of course, just subtly, behind the scenes, barely behind -in our thoughts, nowhere else, usually. I'm sure you've done something, like, maybe you're talking to a friend who is going through something bad, and maybe you're shocked to discover that you feel no sympathy for the person, your best friend even, and instead you feel like BMC (big man on campus) for reaching down a hand to console this poor, poor little person. I have. Maybe it's that little voice that says "pft you've done enough for the day" when confronted with an opportunity to serve someone. Maybe its... well, whatever it is, i'm sure you know what i mean... I call it the End of Innocence. Do you know what i'm talking about? Every single day, if you're like me, you cheat, fake it, or plot evil, and then lie about it to yourself to keep the beast locked inside your mind and to ease your conscience. Not all of us notice it yet, either. That's called Incrementalism. If for some odd chance you don't know what i'm talking about, chances are either )A, you're sinless, and in that case I'm deeply honored that you're reading my blog, Jesus! ...or )B your mind is deceiving you, and you do things, little things, things you don't even notice, little evil thoughts that are just feeding the monster, feeding it - making it stronger in little increments (remember Incrementalism?) where one day it will pounce, destroy you, and leave you lying in a pool of your own throw-up. Sorry for the harsh analogies, but my friends, there is nothing happy, peaceful, or flowery about sin, which is what i've been referring to, of course. There's also nothing at all any less important than the gospel, and this, as i hope all of you are well aware, is the answer to the plea of our friend in the song, and ours as well. Only Christ's saving work on the cross can do anything for us poor, wretched sinners. I can't assume that everyone who reads this blog is a Christian, as much i would like to, but i have to accept the fact that there is a chance that a few of you won't go to heaven when you pass away. In that case, if you haven't trusted Christ yet, do so now, at this very moment!! Just tell God that you understand that He died on the cross to take the punishment you deserve, and that you want to serve \Him and live to glorify Him. He won't turn you away!! "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (i forget the reference) If you feel a tug of your conscience, but aren't really sure what this is all about, Please call a pastor! I know my pastor would love to talk with you and you can call him at 704-948-9900. Just ask to speak to Mickey and tell him what's going on. He'll help ya!

Now if you don't know what happens after you tell God that stuff, basically, it's incrementalism again, although this time it's the good kind. God will begin to work in your life, turning those bad thoughts into good ones, if you work with Him. Now it doesn't (usually) happen all at once, like i said earlier in this post. I know i still have so, so many evil thoughts , and many times my actions aren't all that pure either. The difference is, instead of increasing in evilness, i am constantly increasing in Godliness, stumbling and tripping along, but still increasing, if i listen to what God wants me to do. This is called Sanctification, and even though it's hard, it's necessary. Even if you only show a little bit of fruit from your labor, it is still a tremendous example of God's goodness and kindness. Please take this road, it's the only one that leads to Life!!

I'm not sure why i just shared all that, i just felt a burden to write this. Now for those of you who are stronger in your faith than me and noticed errors in this post PLEASE let me know, the last thing i want to do lead someone down the wrong path.

Well now my pencil's running out of lead (actually graphite, to be scientific =P) And this has been long enough already. Seriously if this has struck a chord with you, don't keep it to yourself!


Well it's amazing as i read back over this how disjointed and confusing that was... i hope you were able to take some truth from it at least! It's funny to dive back to old writings, isnt it? And also a little humbling as well haha.

Friday, November 7, 2008

The End

i have one more post left in my journal now so until i get new paper i'll have to keep it short. As i'm writing this, Senator Obama is giving his victory speech as President of the United States of America. I am sickened with this country, that we have all sat by and let this happen. I am angry that more innocent people, through abortion and other means, have to die before we all learn our lesson and this madness ends. I am saddened that all of America and possibly the world will have to endure the consequences of it's decision. History is repeating itself... Hitler, Stalin, Castro, possibly Obama... Yet another smooth talking socialist taking us arm in arm smiling and laughing down Communism lane to our final demise... I don't know what to do about this, what we can do about this, but i do know one thing i won't stand for. I will not tolerate political correctness. I'm no longer going to hesitate to speak the truth or call it like it is just to pacify feelings. If you're offended, go hug a tree.

I am so worried for America... I know God's in control, but he was also in control when untold millions of Jews, His people, were mercilessly executed. Will we have to endure this? Oh, I pray not. I pray history will not repeat itself like it almost never ceases to do... Hmph - people are sheep, complacently shuffling to be sheared and killed. But it's sheep killing sheep now, as it has always been. God bless America. Lord, please come.

Sweet Madame Blue

Time after time
I sit and I wait for your call
I know I'm a fool
But what can I say
Whatever the price I'll pay
For you, Madame Blue

Once, long ago
A word from your lips
and the world turned
But somehow you've changed
You're so far away
I long for the past and
dream of the day
With you, Madame Blue

Sweet Madame Blue
Gaze in your looking glass
You're not a child anymore
Sweet Madame Blue
The future is all but past
Dressed in your jewels
You made your own rules
You conquered the world and more
... Heaven's door

America, America...
America, America...
America, America...
America, America...

America, America...
America, America...

Red, white and blue
Gaze in your looking glass
You're not a child anymore
Red, white and blue
The future is all but past
So lift up your heart
And make a new start
And lead us away from here


Friday afternoon...

Well these past few days have been a trial for me, and you, and everyone else i'm sure as we adjust to the reality of a country led by Barrack Obama. For me, though, i am more at peace, mainly after a conversation with a good friend, who encouraged me to ALWAYS trust in God. After all that's all we can really do, isn't it. Trust, and pray. And that friend reminded me that President Obama might not be as bad as we're making him out to be, that he might do great things for this country. We could all be wrong about him. I pray that i am. Even if he is like we have heard and seen, he still commands our respect, as he IS the President of the United States, and as such, like it or not, we are called to obey and respect him, even when he makes extremely wrong decisions. I don't know where this country will be at the end of these four years, but let us be assured that God is in control, and He has our good in mind! So i say let's meet each new challenge together, and finally come together under a man many of us completely disagree with. It sounds strange, but i think this is what God is calling us to do... we must respect, obey, speak the truth, trust in Him, and most of all, pray. Lord, please help us.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Blogging 102

Is blogging dead?? Have ideas stopped coming?? Have priorities been rearranged?? For me i think the above are true, if only slightly. I haven't unzipped my big brown notebook in about a week and a half, and it's made me a little edgy. Not being able to write has been awful. This habit has been formed quickly and i feel like i have to write. The problem is, i don't feel like i have anything to write about anymore. And you know, i think that's the problem for some of you as well. "nothing left to say" has been the theme of a lot of blogs lately, or, even more prevalently, silence. What happened??! It seemed like just days ago we were writing frequently and i would wake up and be excited about reading your latest post, and also publishing mine. Now i see on my blog list, "updated 2 weeks ago" more often than not. Have the ideas stopped? Maybe... I'm not sure really, i'm just shooting in the dark and wondering why nobody has posted in a while...

Hmmm... i'm definitely not saying this is a bad thing. Like i said, i understand how things can catch up on you and you don't find any time to post. This post probably won't even get posted until a week from now. But, for those of you that WANT to post (and have time to) I have a couple tips for you, i hope they help.

#1: If you have many thoughts through the day that you want to share, and then you sit down to post them and find you can't remember a single one, try keeping a journal (or diary for you girls) and jotting down your thoughts as they come to you. You'll have everything right there, thoughts already composed, when you're ready to post! Another upside of keeping a journal is you can write things in there that you don't want anybody else to read. Haha you should read my posts before i edit them :-P I'm guessing most of you do this already, but if you don't, it's a great way to keep your blog well-posted.

#2: Never assume your life is too boring to post about. One amazing thing about people is that each of our takes on life, and definitely our life experiences, are different. What seems like same-old-same-old to you could be very interesting to me. Plus sharing about life helps people
get to know each other. So when all you've done that day was go for a run or a lot of school or work at Chic-Fil-A or a few errands with your Mom, or whatever you've done, try writing it on your blog. I know i would love reading about it, and i'm sure others would as well.

#3: If you think you don't have anything to post about, that your thought are dry or your day has been boring, try reading a book (i'd recommend "Worldliness" edited by Cj Mahaney) that stimulates your thought activity, write down your thoughts on each chapter, and then post those. Remember to keep it in context, though.

#4: Ask questions on your post. A post isn't supposed to be all-inclusive or have all the answers. Sometimes it's better to ask. See, you never know - someone might have the answer for you! And you also might find material for another post in the post's comments. Don't hesitate to ask.

#5: Review your goals for the blog. Do you maintain it as a social network where you connect with other bloggers? Do you view it as something to get your thoughts out where they can be read and analyzed by yourself and others in an attempt to benefit from fresh perspective? Do you write to hone your writing skills? Maybe to inform people about things that you do? Possibly to encourage friends with what God has been showing you? Maybe a combination of these or something entirely? Whatever your reason, review it and you'll find a fresh perspective on it.

Well that's five tips, i couldn't think of any more. I hope this helps you if you were having trouble with your posting! I'm gonna go wait two weeks procrastinating posting this =P

Oh and this post is named blogging 102, because i'm not a professional and can't give a "101" - i can only do the next best thing :-P

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I feel like i'm staring at me..,

Wednesday night...

Ugh. *shudders* Right now i am completely disgusted by a photograph. A photograph of me, actually. Not because it's "stupid" or "Ew i look awful in this one" But because it is genuinely evil. Not the original photo, not really. The original is me wearing an Indiana Jones' style fedora looking straight into the camera with a slight sarcastic smile and a strange gaze. That's not so bad. The evil comes from another photo, a doctored version of the previous. See i got some comments on the original being "creepy" and i thought- "i'll show them creepy" and then went to trusty ol' Photoshop and worked on changing the picture so it would look like i'm in a dark room, and i put a candle in front of my face, and played with the color till it looked right. Then, i don't know what got into me, but i decided to make the photo version of me look like Alice Cooper, with thick eyeshadow and thick eyebrows, with a very thin mouth. I worked for a while with it zoomed in, and then i zoomed out to see the finished project. Goodness gracious it freaked me out. Instead of looking like Mr Cooper, i ended up looking like something totally evil... and i'm not being dramatic... I might need therapy. Well i'm kidding about that, but still. What got me were my eyes staring back at me. They were my eyes, but something was different - they were dead!! No expression behind them... like they lacked a soul... creepiest thing i have ever seen... And then... i started thinking - "That's the real me!!" Me without God's Grace and work in my life, that is. It was almost a look straight into the blackness of my evil heart. I couldn't take it. I can't face myself. I seriously went into my bathroom a couple minutes ago to sit in a chair (where i am now) to write this, and i gotta tell you i was scared silly (it was pitch black) until i found the light switch. My heart is beating like 180 times per minute (or whatever's really fast) and i'm shivering a little bit, no lie. I am scared of myself!! Gosh that sounds so completely lame, but that picture... i'm gonna post it here, but i'm not gonna post the image, just a link to the image, because it... yeah. Um well here's the original, the first doctored, and then a link to the horrid one. (click at own risk)

****the really really scary one (click here)*****

*Thursday afternoon
Well right now i bet your thinking i have got to be the sissiest guy you know. I wish i could say that i was just kidding, that i made up being freaked out so i could illustrate my point about our evil hearts and God's grace, but i seriously can't. I was genuinely majorly freaked out. The thing is i don't get scared easy at all! I can sit through a horror film and laugh at all the cheesy mistakes the filmmakers did, and not be affected all that much by the content, but this image... it still freaks me out, and i'm writing this in the mid afternoon, sun shining, and even while listening to country! (which, as i have said, calms me down). I think it's my conscience, because i think to me it embodies all my sin. I'm not sure. All i know is that picture freaks me the hell out... (scuse my french) let me know if you had the courage to look at it, and tell me if it scares you the same, or if it's just specific to me... i'd really like to know

Monday, October 20, 2008

(Un)Answered Questions

i promised a friend that i would break down the scenario of a fish that couldn't back up )long story) but right now doesn't seem right. Maybe i'll talk about it later on down this post. I've got a lot to think about. I don't think i can unpack it all, all the wonderings, the questions, all the sadness, pain, love, all the joy, all the confusion, and all the speculation that is going through my head like a low budget French film from the 70's. i'm gonna try, though.
So, Why. Why?


Why do i congratulate myself on being a great worship leader? I lead others to worship our Great Savior and i find myself just praising myself. Why can't i destroy my own pride and arrogance in an ability that is not my own and which was designed to bring glory and honor to Another?

Why is there so much evil in this world? I just heard about a friend of a friend who was recently murdered, along with all her siblings, in an extremely graphic way. Why do the people closest to them have to go through such agony all because of a rash idea in a murderer's heart? I don't know, but i know that even though i don't know this family my prayers go out to them and everyone closest to them. I hope yours do as well.

Why do the good intentions of Godly people go so badly awry?

Why am i constantly seeking to claim glory from a music project that was originally created to glorify God? Every success and failure causes me to increasingly look inward and either be impressed by my accomplishments or be disgusted and repulsed by my failure, so it's always "i did Great!" or "I can do so much better than That!" Ugh i have perverted something good, as always. It was perverted to start with, whie the idea was being developed. I'm constantly turning the focus and attention on myself and not being amazed afresh at what He has dome for everything, specifically in this project! I do this and expect the project to succeed? I have a bad taste in my mouth, and i think it would do well for me to constantly review this project's title. I can only say thank God i have so many selfless servents helping me with this, i know due to my own arrogance and pride nothing at all would come from this. Thank you every one of you who knows what i'm talking about, please continually be going back to the Cross and remaining humble!

To all this... Why? Why?

I don't think i will ever have the answers.

Is that a bad thing??

Why can't i just trust God In all this..? Why can't i trust His Heart? When i can't trace His Hand, i can trust His Heart!! I know he has started a good work, and i KNOW that He will finish it!!

Well... now that i am actively working on trusting Him, I'm calmer now, i'm listening to country (which always calms me down :-D) and i'm praying intermitently. Now, Hayley, i know you've scrolled down to this part to try to find the part where i talk about your thing. No cheating - go up to the top and read everything again, and then meet me down here when you've done that. Go on.


Ok now that you've read the WHOLE post, Hayley, i will now talk about the, um, mentally challenged fish :-P ok for the rest of you what 's going on,to the best i can remember, (having only been told once) is there was this fsh, see. At Outdoor World i think And he couldn't back up. for ease of readability, i'm gonna call our little fish 'Bob". So Bob had swam for so far that he couldn't turn around and swim somewhere else. Bob stayed there. For a long time, i think. Just stuck, but not really. Now this could be an anology for many things. Let's dive in here (pun intended) and see if we can pinpoint a couple similarities in the following anologies and our friend Bob the Fish.

#1: Sometimes our life choices take us in a direction where at some point we find that we can't go forward , due to circumstances, and we can't back up, because of consequences of our previous actions. Take Jeff. Jeff did something very bad. Jeff left home when he was a teenager because he and his parents had a, let's say "strained" relationship. Now years down the road, after turning around a life of drugs and immorality, Jeff hears that his folk's health is failing. That relationship never having been restored, and more bitterness having grown between them, our friend Jeff can't care for his folks because of past decisions and bitterness sustained. Just like Bon the Fish, Jeff the Hypethetical Person can't back up...

#2: This one is a little sadder. Well a lot sadder. Hypethetical Jeff might be able to fix his hypethetical situation, but our next buddy, Paul, can't. Paul's life has been one of pleasure-seeking, at whatever cost. and what's worst, Paul wants nothing to do with the Gospel. His life His life choices and circumstances have hardened his heart and led him down the wrong path. This is different from Bob the Fish and Jeff the Other Person, though. Even though he can't back up; Paul doesn't WANT to back up, really. We need to pray for people like the analogical Paul.

#3: Now i'm gonna introd-- well you know what, that's enough. I think we've met enough hypethetical people, and, i think, one-too-many pathetically-personified fishes. I'm done.

So there, i think instead of answering my own questions, i've answered one presented by that lovable movie of the early 90's... So Hayley, other readers, and Mr Bill Murray, i think we now know... What About Bob??!?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Too many many thoughts II

Saturday, October 11th

Yes yes i think it's time for another post. Don't you love how unspecific my posts are? You don't know if i wrote this today or six months ago. (even that was unspecific - "today") I assure you though, this is as current as i can make it, outdated only a couple days. To make it more specific, i just got home from Youth Group. Well, since you asked, it was good and bad. I really enjoyed some long conversations with good friends tonight, but also had to put up with a bunch of junk and disappointment from other people along with the joy. yeah that's how it goes. I'm so thankful for all my friends. That becomes more clear the more junk i have to go through. Hmmm... i guess i'm pensive now. That means thoughtful for all those that don't know 3rd grade English =P Ok that was harsh. You'll forgive me :-)
Right? Ok good. So yeah nothing much to say now even though i want to keep writing. Um gosh. No big theological thing to talk about, i don't think i can think so well now, i think. Hey hold on. I think i'll do something here. I think it's time for some random stuff, so i'm going to post everything in the next few lines that is going through my head. And i mean everything...

My back hurts.

Is she gonna text me back anytime soon?

I like this song.

breeding hedgehogs is amazing. I mean wow... i didn't think you could make that much money from that... (yes Emily i'm still thinking about that =P)

I don't like THIS song.

My floor is dirty. i need to vacuum.

I think my shoes are impure after the shoe game tonight.

Ow my eyes are burning.

That's really cool. Oh i should be texting that.

Ew i shouldn't write THAT thought down. People don't want to know how moldy my shower is.

I love all my numerous sunglasses.

Well i need a new hairbrush.

I wonder how Brandon's doing now? Too late to call him.

I wonder how many people are left-handed in the world?

Who invented clothes hangers?

The Vacuum Tube is amazing. I love amplifiers and monitors. Edison was a big jerk and ruined a lot of people's lives (it's true) but he DID invent vacuum tubes. Praise God for that!

Wow i can't see anything now. Thitsh ish alll blurrrie.

Well that's all i'll write down of my thoughts now. (yes Hayley i was talking to you while writing this in case you're wondering) Ok now i'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight.

I think it's marvelous... Hahahaha!...!!

Maybe writing will help me feel better. Maybe not. I'm tight strung, i found the most amazing deal on some music production equipment on Craigslist that i need need need, and it's only $50 or a trade for my practice amp that i don't need anynmore!! Gosh it's like PERFECT but i havent got a response back on it and i can't check my email until tomorrow morning!! AAAAGGHHH!!!! So i;m stressing over that and a million other things. Life sucks sometimes. I find it funny how my opinion on life changes almost by the minute. It's great, then it's awful, then it's too much to handle, then it's back to being great again. I'm as wishy-washy as Charlie brown, without the yellow sweater. And i'll never change, because i'm human, last time i checked. So i'll continue in this mindless redundant cyclicle cycle to the day i die. I'm sarcastic now in case you haven't noticed. Partly because of the fact that i'm listening to Pink Floyd and i'm not trusting God, just living out the cycle.. like an old rotary speaker. It keeps going round and round, and sometimes it syncs up with itself... i don't know, maybe i'm crazy. Maybe my rotary speaker life isn't synced up this spin around. Maybe the whole thing is spinning way to fast as the Leslie organist tries to play a slow lullaby but ewnds up playing a crazy piece of music like Brain Damage by Pink Floyd. Maybe my brain is damaged. Yes yes. Hehehe. I'll see you on the dark side of the moon...

"Brain Damage"

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
Ill see you on the dark side of the moon...

"There's only one thing left to say... I think it's Marvelous!! Hahahaha!!!"


All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
Beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All thats to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

* Monday October 13th

Ok so this post was very very odd... i was in a weird head space when i wrote it haha. I was so stressed and tired i think i really WAS losin it there. Well i decided to post it anyway because i like the analogies in it. Bear with the creepiness, after all, it is getting closer to Halloween =P

* Tuesday October 14th

By the way, i STILL haven't got a response back from the guy selling the equipment. It's not looking to good there. Please pray i'm able to purchase those items, it's what i've been looking for for years. Anyway...

...There is no dark side of the moon really. matter of fact its all dark...


Thursday, October 9, 2008

Some live without it...

Ah Tuesday. I feel like writing a long post. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm siting here enjoying the rich warm cold freezing cold citrusy bottled up carbonated goodness that is a Diet Coke, texting good friends back and forth furiously, listening to Summer Song by Wavorly, studying History, thinking, meditating really, and writing. Ahhhhh life. Yes my friends, this is how it goes, the good and bad, the sad and happy, the pain and joy, all together. It all swirls together like Diet Coke. Who would've thought that you could take corn syrup, carbonated water, and a bunch of disgusting chemicals and swirl them all together to get an absolutely incredible drink? Who would've thought you could swirl all THAT (you know what i mean) together and get something wonderful called Life?? God. God is amazing. He created life, and some live without it...

"Some live without it"

what i have to say is obvious
and knowledge free,
for all of us are
you're word leaves us with no excuse
the paths we choose make us who we are

there's a breeze blowing through
here tonight

so i praise and adore you
lay it all down before you
in every way you're beautiful
from my heart
i praise and adore you
made the world beautiful
and i cannot sit and deny you created life
and some live without it

wake up morning sunrise in my eyes
at night the moon lights all the skies
the sound of hope that's in the air
and everything that's everywhere

there's a breeze blowing through
here tonight

so i praise and adore you
lay it all down before you
in every way you're beautiful
from my heart
i praise and adore you
made the world beautiful
and i cannot stand and deny you created life
and some live without it

and it's true
its all you

so i praise and adore you
lay it all down before you
in every way you're beautiful
from my heart
and every breath i take
there's no way
accident created this place

praise and adore you
lay it all down before you
in every way you're beautiful
from my heart
i praise and adore you
made the world so beautiful
i cannot stand and deny you created life
and some live without it
and some live without it


How can i stand and deny You created life??

Haha yep.

Saturday, 4th Oct - Mon, 6th Oct


Well this is nice. I'm relaxing right now with friends, doing nothing but getting slowly sunburned... Just waiting for the Warriors game to start... I won't bore you with the numerous events of my day, except to say that driving while listening to country music is absolutely amazing =P Yesss, i think i'm a country fan now. Haha yep. So shoot me. And apparently that's the style of music that i can sing and play the best...

* Monday

That was as far as my post got that day - i think the game started or somebody started talking to me lol. Man that was tons of fun, i met some really really cool people, had long conversations with good friends, laughed so hard i cried and my grin hurt my face, and tons of other amazing stuff like that. Well the only thing left to say, i think, is GO WARRIORS!!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Fresh Air

Well this is a first. I'm writing on my blog, actually, on my blog. Yep! I'm actually sitting down in front of my Pc and staring at the text window for a "new post" and yeah so this is unscripted and uncensored, i'm just saying what comes to mind right now, and it's actually relevant to the time i'm posting this. Yes, it's very freeing. =P So i have no clue what i'm posting about, right now i'm just waiting for my crazy day to catch up to me. I gotta go in the next few minutes, and then i'll be nonstop until tomorrow. And i am running on empty. I need caffiene. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm complaining. I'm going to stop complaining and talk about something else, like how much i love early morning drives, and sticking my hand out the window as i drive down those old country roads, feeling the extremely cold air rush by at 50mph. That is living. I'm gonna go live some more. Bye.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Ah today is October 1st. that makes me happy, because even though fall started on like September 23rd or something, for me it's never really fall until October. That's the time you can go outside and smell that wonderful woodsmoke on the wind in the cool night air. That's the time for growing close to friend's and family, the time memories are made around a bonfire in the middle of the woods at 1:30 am. yes i like fall :-) Oh and it's dusk on Wednesday, which is amazing for no reason :-P


Life's too short

Well tonight i want to write. To write about many many things. To write about sadness, and dear friends, joy and love, peace, immaturity, amazing bands, biblical debates, spilled soda. About sphone calls, and phone bills, rechargeable batteries, and inside jokes (wolf), and life, all in all. But i can't. I can't because i don't have the patience or the fortitude to sit here an pen it out, and i also don't want to bore you with my insane rambling. Ah well, i supose i will write about a few things. Where to start. Ummm... Oh yeah. JI got everything done on my to-do list today!! Aren't you proud of me??! :-D Annnd... Frisbee was fun, even though we only played one game. I didn't drop one catch!! Oh yes now you're even more proud of me, right? yessss... haha after frisbee my good friend Eric and i went inside the church and had a great discussion on biblical things, which our friend Josiah joined us in midway through. Wow we were debating theology, science, and psychology left and right - it was awesome. I got home and got on the computer and guess what - i was confronted with more immaturity. It's better this time, though. I'm giving it all to God and i'm not going to dwell on it. Yup. Plus, it kinda brought it all in perspective later on when i watched a video of myself from a couple years ago. I was such a dork. I guess i still am. Haha well i'm working on it. I kept cringing, watching that video, though. So much immaturity in me. I'm sorry to all the folks in the video from back then, only one of whom will probably ever read this - sorry for my lame jokes, my insensitivity , my annoying attitude, my disgusting laugh, and for filming absolutely everything :-P (you know what i mean) Anyways i can't dwell on the past, just do better in the present, and look towards the future. Well it's getting late, i'm tired, and i'm thirsty, on a completely irrelevant note :-P One last thing though - isn't it so annoying how much craziness is going around about the gas shortage?? I mean seriously people - take a chill pill and stay home instead of running out at the first sign of "danger" to put $2 worth in your tanks. No wonder there's a shortage - people are filling without needing. Oh sorry, i promised not to share my political opinion here. Oh i didn't? Well i am now. People get mad at me for sharing it, so i won't. Life's too short. :-)

Monday, September 29, 2008


(Thursday, September 25th)

I'm listening to "everything" by Lifehouse. It is beautiful. And to remember last night's skit still sends shivers down my back. I can't think about it very much or i start crying, it's just that powerful. And i don't want to get my blog post wet :-P So instead, i'll remember tonight. Mm that was fun. We played Hide-and-seek, some friends and i. It was great fun pretending we were little kids again. i'd forgotten how much fun it was. How much fun it was to crouch behind a stack of chairs grinning from ear to ear and watch your friend look around for you and know he can't find you. It's great fun to run through the hall breathless with your best buddy running away from "the other kids". It's great fun to jump out from where you're hiding and freak out a girl! The look on Bj's face was priceless :-P It's great fun to forget, forget about life's problems and responsibilities and just have... fun.

I just took a long pause in the writing of this to savor that time, to think on God's goodness, and this amazing song i'm listening to still. I'm going to sit and remember for a while. Remembering God's goodness, and good times with good friends, tonight, and years ago. I will sit for a while.



Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?


How can i stand here with You
And not be moved by You?!?

How, Lord?!?!

Saturday, September 27, 2008


I started thinking. What if. What if i'm being judgmental when i say i hate immaturity? I DO hate immaturity. I try not to hate immature people. If God hated immature people, i think we'd all be in trouble. And what standard do i judge to?? Will I always be the marker for myself? Will i always want to spend time those that are as mature and more so than me, and shun those that are less mature than me? I would be no better than a Pharisee. But what can i do? I know immaturity when i see it. It manifests itself in many ways and the only way to mask it is to siddown and shuddup. I don't want to judge people. I hate immaturity. Those thoughts seem to clash. That's it.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Mark of the Cross

(wednesday night, sept 24th)

I'm sitting here staring at a pen mark that was inscribed on the back of my hand. The mark is in the shape of The Cross. Every time i look at it i'm reminded of what the real one stands for. Just such a simple reminderr, but extremely powerful. In fact, i just decided - i'm going to put that mark on my hand from now on, so i can be reminded of The Cross everywhere i go. You know what would be amazing. What would be amazing is if YOU did the same! Just take a pen and draw a single line about an inch long on the back of your hand, and then cross that line with a shorter one closer to the top of the other, looking something like this:

Nothing fancy. The real one certainly wasn't. But just think - if you take two seconds to draw a cross on your hand, and you get someone else to do the same, and they get someone to as well, and on and on, this could be the start of something that might bring God much glory! Because people will ask. And guess what. You as a christian get to tell! So try it!!


Well the reason the cross is on my hand in the first place is because i went to the most amazing concert this evening. Wavorly and High Flight Society were playing, it was hosted by First Assembly Church, and it was FREE! Oh yes, perfect :-P I don't think i was prepared for what went on there, though. It started out like a typical christian rock concert - opening band, High Flight, came on, and then Wavorly came and did their set. (music was incredible, by the way.) I enjoyed it thoroughly. The music was at probbably 125 decibels (crazy loud) people were yelling and clapping, and there was a mosh pit, though the saddest little mosh pit i'd ever seen :-P haha. Then something happened midway through the concert. A little drama team came out and did the "lifehouse - Everything" skit. I was thriled because i'd seen it on Youtube and been much impacted by it, but never thought i'd see it live. If you haven't already seen it, you can watch it here: (link) . After the pantomime a youth pastor came onstage and shared the Gospel, as i kinda figured he would. What i didn't figure on was the response. I believe over 200 young people gave their lives to Christ there tonight. The young pastor said "Raise your hand if you want to accept Jesus into your life tonight". I thought i'd see only two or three hands go up, but when over 30 hands just in front of me went up, a chill went from my head to my feet, and i was shaken and amazed ast God's grace. The Holy Spirit was certainly in that place tonight. Seeing those hands raised and knowing many more were raised that i COULD'NT see is something i don't think i will ever forget. I don't ever want to.

One more amazing thing - whenever i go to rock concerts, i notice that the atmosphere is not exactly... friendly. Something that shocked me was that the atmosphere was exactly opposite with the crowd tonight. You figure, take 1500 teenagers who don't know each other from Adam and are intent on protecting them and theirs, cram them into a tiny space, and there's gonna be trouble. Not so tonight. Everyone was... kind. Only by the grace of God. One instance i saw tonight - a girl was joking around with her friends, and one of them plasyfully pushed her back, right into a guy that had to've weighed over two hundred pounds. I was thinking "ohhh no" but get this: the big guy threw up his hands and said "you alright?" to the girl. The girl and her friend then apologised to the guy, and the guy smiled kindly. How strange is THAT?? I can guarantee that, with that same scenario, used anywhere else at abny other concert you'd have a fight on your hands. My friends, this is once again the power of the Gospel, changing people's lives. I am amazed at the power of the the Gospel. That's all i have left to say.

I am amazed at the power of the Gospel!