What I'm thankful for.

Well it's that time of year again. I can't believe it's been a year since we took this time to give thanks- it seems like only yesterday. Now last year, and the year before that, and the year before that i believe, i set aside a little time to write up a little thank-you to some of the incredible wonderful people in my life, and this year is no different. So below i'm going to list some of the people that have enriched my life and been such a wonderful and undeserved blessing to me. (Don't be sad if you're not listed, i only have time to mention a few of you.)

My Family, including my Dad, Mom, Grandpa Chuck, Grandma Jill, both Uncle Scotts, all my cousins, Papa and Grandma Dowdy, and all the rest of you: I love all of you - a family is a wonderful blessing, and i have been blessed in excess! I wish i could see more of you more often! Mom and Dad, thank you both for constantly being "For me" and helping me fulfill my responsibilities as i get older. Wonderful parents like you are rare, and I'm so thankful for you.

The band. I'll take time to thank each of you members individually, but i wanted to take a moment to focus on you guys as a whole in this context. Guys, we've been through a lot together. From jumping a van in the pouring rain, to extremely stressful studio sessions, to sharing the pure joy of making great music, and everywhere else we've been and everything else we've done together, you guys have remained my great friends, even after all our trials and joys. I believe that now we're stronger then ever, brought together by all that we've experienced. I am thankful for all three of you and the work we are able to do.

My wonderful friends: (Not in order)

Emily. Your wisdom and Godliness far exceeds your years - i'm constantly getting your age wrong because of it =P You are such a dear sister, and you've helped me through so much in the past up till now with your sound Biblical advice and honest humble perspective. I thank God for you, Em :-)

Kira. Girl i love you. We really should've been brother and sister because you understand me so much better than anybody else... and i'm so, so sorry you're just like me. =P Haha you are amazing and wonderful and i hate that you live so far away!! I gotta watch how much i compliment you 'cause i'm basically patting myself on the back =P Anyway you're great and i love you. :-D All that stuff on your myspace about me obviously goes for you too, because we're twins :-) Haha i am so glad we met, you've shown me some scary scary things about myself, and i know it's the same for you =P I'm just gonna stop now because i don't think anybody else will understand. We are so weird. =P

Ying. Hahaha you are absolutely hilarious. We always have the most... interesting... conversations =P Ahaha... You've been a great friend for a good while now, and i know i can trust you with so much. You've certainly helped me become decidedly less "homeschooled" haha. You're so much fun to be around, and your compassion and encouragement is sometimes the only thing that keeps me smiling when i'm not doing so well :-) And you're awesome when you're hyper - i never know exactly what you're gonna say =P Your sheer randomness is awesome =P You're a dear friend, Ying :-)

Wesley. Man i've known you forever seems like... we've got so much in common, and you know me so well. It's amazing how we can go 13+ hours straight in the studio together doing nothing but sitting and mixing and i don't get tired of hanging out with you =P Man your taste in music is /just/ different from mine that you're always able to coax me just outside of my musical comfort zone to discover sounds that i would never have liked if you hadn't made me listen to them in the first place =P You're one of the only people i can actually talk geek to and not get the "blank look" =P I can't tell you how much And of course the fact that between the two of us we're always right is pretty doggone awesome =P You're a dear brother, a great colleague, and my best friend. I love you man =P

Matt. Dude you've said before that we know everything about each other - i really wouldn't doubt it! We've shared a lot this past year, and i know i for one i am so much better off with your friendship. It's also been wonderful to see you go from a decent drummer to an absolutely incredible and /confident/ drummer!! You're an unstoppable force my friend. I wish we got more time to just hang out, but i look forward to a lot of fun times in the future :-)

Adam. Man you annoy me so much sometimes. It's true. Hahaha and it's a /good/ thing! You constantly show me that being serious about work isn't always the best route (you've probably saved me from a bitter workahaulic's future =P) and to, even in the most stressful circumstances to always have a smile on your face and then do something crazy =P I've certainly had a chance to work on my own prideful impatience with you that's for sure =P It's been a wonderful pleasure to work with you and learn from you and your crazy off-kilter jokes, lead guitar style / musical tastes, and just general off-kilter personality. You've shown me by example that even in the worst times life is crazy good :-)

Morgan. I don't really know you all that well still really, but i have enjoyed getting to know you more this past year, and i certainly look forward to getting to know you better! We've shared some pretty great times together this past year with the bible study group and other events! You're a great Godly girl and a lot of fun to be around :-)

Cara. Last year this time, i don't think i knew you - certainly not as well as i do now. I've gained such a dear friend this past year in you :-) Times at the bible study group just hanging out with you and the others really stick in my mind as some of the most joyous times i can remember. You are a wonderful Christ-like young woman, and your sweet devotion to the things of God is truly inspiring. There's not a doubt in my mind that when i ask you to pray for me that you will. I thank God for our friendship :-)

Josiah G. Man the biggest thing about you that sticks out in my mind is all the wonderful Godly input you have brought to Amp. I shared with you in a message recently that we value your critiscism/encouragement more than you know, and i was being completely serious. Your friendship is also valued more than you know. Recently you were awarded the honor of the title Eagle Scout, and it is certainly well deserved... you are a strong, confident, Godly leader, and i look forward to all of the work we're going to do in the future together (although i can't share what it is here haha)

Marissa G. You are the most awesome waitress at Steak N' Shake. =P And you are just awesome all around :-) End of story! Haha. Seriously though. I value your friendship so much - you have such a heart for God, and your sweet compassion shows through in everything you do. You're certainly a picture of what a Godly young woman should be, and i've enjoyed getting to know you more this past year :-)

Josiah "Steve" Chacko. Man you're a walking Wikipedia =P Everything to know about everything you somehow have stored somewhere =P And you always have exactly the right information to give just the right spin on whatever we're discussing that never fails to knock me for a loop and give me a brand new perspective on the topic! You're a wonderful encouragement to me brother :-) I've really, really enjoyed getting to know you so well this past year!

Zach. Dude me n' you've been bestest buddies for i don't know how many years now. :-D I know that we were both into legos and linkin logs and the vintage Transformers when we first met though, that's how long it's been =P i've known you probably 12 years now i guess 0.o Give or take. Since then we've never stopped being bestest buds :-) I'm thankful that after all this time we still find the time for B'jangles as bi-weekly as we can get :-) Man the spring semester at CPCC was just magical =P I didn't think i could have so much fun at the campus Bojangles but somehow me and you managed to pull it off! I'm so thankful for your friendship.

Kailey and Darcy. Well our friendship is certainly better than it was a year ago that's for sure =P Haha, girls i've certainly gained two wonderful friends with you two!! It's been a joy to really get to know you both, instead of just knowing you like i did for years as just two other teens that go to Crossway... I really look forward to getting to know you both more in the future!!

Eric. Brother, we've gone through quite a lot since i've met you... Your brutal honesty has been such an aide to me over the years. So many times you forced me to be honest with myself over my true motives and desires, and at those times i couldn't be more angry with you.... after the dust settles and i look back, i realize that you've helped me back from the cliff's edge. I'm beginning to see even in the midst of those times what a selfless service you're doing for me... and brother i want you to know that i am so appreciative and thankful of it. You are a dear Godly brother in Christ to me man.

Lindsay. Hahahahahaha. <-- that pretty much sums you up =P haha your joy and zest for life is so contagious!! You are sooo much fun to just be around. Talking to you i just can't be depressed or sad in any way :-) Since you live so far away i haven't really been able to get to know you as well as i'd like, but i'm thankful for opportunities in the future!!

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And that's just a few of the wonderful people in my life. There are many of you who, as i said above, i couldn't mention here, but have blessed me in innumerable other ways!! I thank God for each of you.

There are many other things i am thankful for, but i will not list them here because they are materialistic. True joy comes from fellowship shared with dear friends and family, and as i shared last year: "I know life would be so lacking, dull, empty, and lonely without all of yall's friendship" It certainly still holds true. I hope all of you have had a blessed Thanksgiving and have taken a moment to give glory to God for the wonderful people in your life.

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A Promise Fulfilled

No not the movie or novel. I promised Em a while back that i would post a post on my dear old blog. Well here i am, with a ton of stuff to say, but not much that would keep either you or me interested and/or entertained. So i'm gonna do just a freeflow of stuff that comes to my head, and just enjoy myself. You can enjoy yourself reading this or not, it's quite up to you i'm sure. Ok. So recently i've been unable to make my Care Group on Wednesday nights because of studio sessions, so i've been searching for a new one for myself, one that i'll be able to attend, and one that i'll hopefully be able to grow with and contribute to. I visited the Elliott (two t's, i remembered!) Care Group this past sunday, and had a great time with the Harris's, Elliott's, and Decoste's (And Kacey =P) Great discussion, great fellowship, and let's not even start about the food! :-) And it was hilarious to see how animated all the girls got with Catchphrase =P I swear the decibel level was over 100 - and i had to protect myself with a pillow. I certainly saw quite another side of some of you =P =P *quick segway* These few months have been a blur for the band - we've been grueling over the EP, but through all the stress and times i want to absolutely tear my crazy hair out, we've been given much grace and this album is shaping up very very well :-D We have 3 tracks with absolutely flawless bass and drums, and one track that is almost ready for the album!! We'll be taking about a two-week break for thanksgiving, but after that things heat back up again and we'll be finishing up the sessions at Centipede Studios and moving on to the sessions at Abba Productions and Reflection Sound Studios. We've got some exciting things boiling on the horizon as well, so look forward to that. Anyway enough about that. I need a paying job people! Even as much as i freeload, being a broke recording artist requires a good share of the green stuff. With this economy too, the things i specialize in (music recording and production, graphic design, advertising, computer repair) are just not as in demand as they were a few years ago. I might find myself saying do you want fries with that here in a while if i can't find anything else. Even though i keep telling myself there's no shame in that (and there isn't, all you CFA employees =P =P) I still would like something a little more lucrative, as i need to help my family through this rough spot as well. It's all in God's plan, but if you could be part of God's plan and tell me any suggestions for employment, i'll say a prayer for you =P Anyway that's all the time i have folks, God bless and good night =P

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End-of-Year Rant (read for explanation) =P

A long while ago, actually December 31st, 2008, i wrote this - and i've had it on my to-do list to post since then =P I've put it off long enough, so, here it is: my end-of-year rant =P

Well today must really be a day for writing - this is my third post today! I just can't stop writing since it's the end of the year... I've spent the day so far just sitting and thinking, and then writing. I've still got to write about my new year's resolutions, and my new 6 month plan! But right now i'm gonna postpone that and talk about something i think a couple of you have already written about - fake Christian music. This stuff really gets my goat. You know the kind. The "music" with generic lyrics that can be taken four thousand different ways, where you don't know if the artist is singing about God, his girlfriend, or his grandma, and where the music is uneventful, just mainstream 2 chord 3 note melody crap. Now i say this with risk of sounding like a hypocrite. I have no problem with music that is deemed "secular" where the artist only sings about relationships, or things of that nature. And of course i have no problem with singing about God or your grandma. What i absolutely hate is when the lyrics are so generic to be taken to be any of the above - that is the tip of the iceberg to a bigger problem - Greed. Think about it. These artists have no passion for anything except money. They will write "music" that is appealing to all, crafting generic chord progressions, melodies, and most of all lyrics, that can be taken any number of ways, just to appeal to as large an audience as possible. Here's an example. Artist "A" writes one of these type of songs, and his producer and publisher send it to numerous radio stations. Christian radio station "WABC" listens to "A's" song, interprets it to be talking about the artist's relationship with God, and plays it for it's audience, who interprets it the same way. At the same time, secular station "WXYZ" reviews the song, determines it to be about the artist's relationship with his girlfriend, and plays it for it's audience, who also interprets it this way. This happens all across the board. The song gets a huge amount of radio play, which in turn generates a huge amount of record sales which... guess what... makes money!! Now of course there's nothing wrong with money. But when an artist compromises his beliefs and decieves countless thousands of people , claiming to be a "christian" artist on some stations and a "secular" artist on other stations, the artist shows a lack of integrity and a love for money that completely sickens me. I despise artists such as this. Write Christian music, write secular, write BOTH, but for God's sake, and all of ours, Don't write something that can be taken as both!! This concludes today's rant =P

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just life :-)

How bout another post? I think it's a good idea. Today was great, had so much fun with my dear friends at lunch and the church after :-) Apples to apples got slightly boring after a while but we still had some good times :-) Thanks for making my day awesome, "fellas" ;-)

Well this week will be interesting - as usual i have no idea how it's gonna be, i expect more of the same - looking for work, working around the house, driving around taking care of errands, working on projects that need to be completed, and working on school, and tracking in Studio A. But hey things don't go as planned, and i'm counting on it, or else this week will be pretty durn boring =P

Oh and i just realized I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO FOR LABOR DAY TOMORROW!!! OMG! Anybody want to change that? hehe =P

And i totally just wasted about 2.4 minutes of your life through reading this, depending on your reading speed. =P

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The rollercoaster

So nothing (except the Gospel of course!) can account for how crazy happy i am at this particular moment. Maybe it's that my foreseeable future is very bright, with great things going on in my christian walk, the band, my career, my senior year, and my social life and activities haha. But... this past while since i've posted, life hasn't been quite this way.... i struggled on and off with depression and anxiety (haha - i sound like an anti-depression meds commercial =P) and i wasn't doing too great or relying on The Lord at all. Like the title of this here post, my life's been a rollercoaster lately... But, due to much prayer and so so much love and care from my dear dear friends, things have been much much better! I've been so at peace the past few days, and i believe God is starting to dissolve the deep bitterness and anger that's been in my heart over a few issues. It's hard to forgive sometimes, but of course that's what God calls us to do, and i'm slowly learning that. So wayyyy too much has been going on in my life to really list it all here, it's all been a blur of stuff (mostly music related!) mostly comprised of working in the studio with engineer Robert McClure, yelling at musicians, running cables, and generally getting everybody organized so Mr M can do his job... last saturday it was just him and me in a session recording a jazz band of 15+ members! As he said "We're runnin around like chickens with our heads cut off!" It's so much fun though... like i know i've said before, i've quite found my calling, as far as i can tell now... Also been going on is a very light school year, surprisingly for my last year (YAY) of highscool... i love the approach we're taking this year haha. And i'm still searching for a full time job, getting everything organized so i can start calling studios. AMP has been just amazing lately as always, we are currently tracking our single This Final Breath and hope to have it out very soon. Wesley and i were in Studio A all day yesterday, and we'll be there all day tomorrow as well. Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday i'm planning to spend with great friends, and just kick back and relax after a crazy busy yet amazing week. :-) Well to stop myself from elaborating further, i'm gonna cut this short (!!) and post something i wrote at about 4am while i was still depressed... if you can look past the gloom, i think it has some great points, reading back through it... see what you think.

"I never want to conform to what is deemed "cool". I know that popular culture defines what is "cool" and i choose to not be swayed by popular culture as i understand the system and try to influence and create the popular culture, and if i be conformed to it, i could not influence or sway it as /i would be conformed to the same mold i tried to shape!/ "Do not be conformed to the Image of this world but /be transformed by the renewel of your mind!!/" This is the lifestyle we are called to lead, to be influencers and shapers and not mindless conformants to a corrupt system. I may be deemed "uncool" by those conformed, but it means no more to me than a drop of water would to a raging river. It's our call to BE that raging river, a current and force so strong that it destroys the levies and dams of popular culture and opens us up to a renewed vigor for life, the Renewal of The Mind."

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Updates and new AMP Blogger feature!

Hey folks, a couple updates :-)

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So i'm sure you noticed the blaring white bar on the right side of my blog haha - Facebook has recently launched a widget to allow you to post a live feed of fan pages to your blog or website! I of course snatched it up real quick and posted it here for AMP! :-) If you're an AMP fan, i highly encourage you to add this gadget to your page or blog ASAP! here are the steps:

#1 go to your layout --> page elements section on your blogger homepage

#2 click "add gadget"

#3 find the "hTML/JavaScript" gadget and click on it

#4 in the title bar, name it "Awake Music Project Fan Page" or something similar ("greatest band in the world" is also fitting =P =P haha!)

#5 Since Blogger will not let me post the needed code here, i have posted it in a comment on this post. post the code that's listed there in the "content" box

#6 Save your preferences

#7 Enjoy =P

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Well today we did an interview and acoustic session on WBT's Alana Flowers Show. It went well, and i want to thank those who lifted us up in prayer before during and after it, especially for me as i was and am dealing with a very bad head cold. Praise God, though, he lifted the symptoms for the duration of the show and i experienced a clear head, clear sinuses, and even though i had been coughing regularly all morning, during the hour of the show i did not cough or sneeze or even need a tissue once. That is clearly a work of God!! Frustratingly though the cold is back with full force... prayer for quick healing would be much welcome right now and i know all you dear friends will be praying :-) Thank you guys so much!

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In other news in my life and AMP, we'll be playing a show on Saturday, the 15th of this month, at Hickory Grove main campus from 2pm till 5pm!! We'll be playing with our friends The Indictment and Ides of March. Just a warning though - this will NOT be an acoustic session!! :-) In fact the other two bands are classified "screamo" and will be absolutely brutal :-) I'm looking forward to hearing them perform, but if metal just ain't your thang you are more than welcome to come just for us and then leave after our set is over - we'll be playing first so you'll have this option. We'll be playing 5 or 6 brand new songs, and we'll be putting on quite a show! I'm looking forward to it, and i really hope you guys can come out with us!! Here's a link to learn more...

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=149206169376&ref=share

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Well i believe that's about it. Keep me and the guys in AMP in your prayers, we really need it! Bless yall :-)

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Welcome to life.

Hey folks. Lately i have had way too much to post so i decided why post at all? I don't even know why i'm posting now. I guess to try to keep up some semblance of the appearance of still posting. Right now i'm in one of my "don't you dare mess with me" moods, and i'm glad i'm home so i don't take it out on anybody. I probably shouldn't be posting because my bitterness and anger will bleed through on the text... now see i don't feel bad, just very angry and bitter. For far too many reasons. Mostly because people are sheep. They will listen/buy/watch/do anything, and follow the other stupid, pathetic sheep and the wolves that lead them. Such utter stupidity. This pop culture is built off it. Everybody feeds into it. The smart ones feed off it. The ones that are angry enough and uncaring enough know just how to lead the sheep... well what kind of a choice does that leave us outside of the culture's grip? To make a living, and to get power, we have to be the wolves. I know how to get the power... and it scares me that i do. I know how this world works, and i know just how to get what i want and need from it. I have learned how to use people. And sadly it's use or be used. I've been used so many times...Do you know what that does to a person? If you're weak, you collapse into a shell of yourself. If you're strong, you become jaded and bitter towards everyone and everything and learn to use people yourself. ...Guess who i am? And for all you stupid pathetic sheep that have taken your shot at using me - try again :-) Ever heard of the Long Con? :-) This will be fun... and hey... as they say in the mafia, nothing personal, it's just... business :-) Welcome to life, folks. And more specifically, welcome to the entertainment industry, a specific business dedicated to fulfilling the greed and mindless pleasure of the masses. It's all about power and money, taking it from the stupid sheep and transfering it into the hands of the ones who actually know what to do with it, and actually have a musical preference and an ear for perfection and excellence instead of just purchasing the newest one-hit wonder no-talent that comes onto the billboard top 10 like the masses they pander to. Don't you just love this screwed-up world? I know i do. Don't you just love how we have to reap the results of the fall in order to create or perpetuate any semblance of good? That's my business. I create evil in order to recieve power so i can create good. It's so messed up... but hey, it's life. Welcome to Using and Being Used. Get used to it. End of post.

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Mobile!

hey folks! i am posting from my phone! how bout that. i will be posting a lottt more now that i can go mobile! can i get an AMEN?! =P

Cliffhanger

I just realized i've only posted 15 times since April 0.o That's quite shocking. I want to keep this blog up, but i seem to never have time... *sigh*. Well then i guess i should catch you guys up to my life recently...

i climbed King's Mountain yesterday with Matthew, Adam, Josiah, and a guy named Patrick yesterday - it was the most fun i've had in a while, and of course that's saying something =P I almost died as you can see below....

Of course this picture was staged (although i was standing on a small ledge you can't see here that was about six inches wide that spanned over a distance that i claim was several hundred feet and Adam claims was less than 50. I am sticking to my story, but no matter it was still very hardcore what i did, and stupid =P I did not die then, not even coming close. I did come close with the escaped convict though... though that's a story for another day.

All this week has been Drama Camp! I've had the privilege, along with Wesley and Emily S, to be "student directors", or camp counselors i guess if you prefer :-) It has been an absolute blast so far, and i know it will be next week too :-) Might post a few photos later.

Wesley and i just finished the Mystery Client Project, and our awesome mystery client has already been given his two tracks and we have tied the ribbon on that box and called it finished :-D I am now proceeding to enjoy my summer, and continue work on PREAMP: the Awake Music Project EP! More updates coming soon on that.

I am now going to leave to see some dear friends, namely Zach, Ying, and Sammy B, at frisbee :-D I'm already very late. Peace yall, hope to post soon.

Ciow! (pronounced Chow Although it is Cow Appreciation Day tomorrow - i will be dressing up - come prepared - i'll see yall tomorrow)

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Ow.

So i went to the lake saturday... and came back with the worst burn i think i've ever had. It's worse than one i got in Palm Beach, FL! Wierd thing is it's centered around my upper forearms, that's it. It's a reverse farmer's tan! It would be funny, but it hurts to move my arms, so it's not. haha. I think i'm overly complaining, but it has not stopped feeling like my arms are getting burned off since saturday evening. I've tried to put it out of my mind, but who could do that for this?

Lol anyways. Work on the track for the mystery client is going great - last night we had a drum and vocal sesh that went awesome!! We have a deadline this saturday - the track HAS to be done that night. We're gonna make it though! Anyhow it hurts to type and i hear the TV, a bottle of generic cola, and some pizza calling my name......

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Hijacked!!!

Well, this is the third time (in three weeks, mind you) that Nathan has left himself logged in on my computer. I decided that it is high-time for me to do something to teach him a lesson. (hahahaha)

So, I'm not going to do anything mean... just hijacking. =P

Nathan, you are awesome, but please learn to log out of your account on my computer. Hahahahaha...

Peace out, y'all! Blog post coming soon!

~Wesley

the Quest Award

Well, last night i was given the Quest Award for "Consistent demonstration of Christ Like Character". I say "given" because i know it's definitely not deserved or even merited. I can think of so many of you, namely Brandon, Wesley, Adam, Matt, (if yall went to the church) Eric, and so many others that are far more godly than i am... I wish they had been the ones to recieve this... so i want to do something. I want to point out a few of my dear friends who have been such an example to me, namely....

Wesley. My friend you have been such an example to me through all the years we've been friends. Your quiet strength has really kept me in line time after time, and you're never afraid to point out sin in my life, and even though you're a teenage guy too, you always make sure i watch my speed in driving =P Man i appreciate your friendship and godliness so, so much. There is so much i could share about your character, but we're so close i think you pretty much know what i would say :-) Love you much, brother.

Brandon. Man you're an unmovable rock for the Gospel. You're a picture of God's strength, even in your weakness. You will be an invaluable asset to God's kingdom in your life my friend, and i'm excited for everything God has for you as you pursue a life of serving others as an NA and otherwise!

Adam, Matt. I wanted to list yall together to encurage you both as brothers - it's such a wonderful thing to see the kind way you relate to each other, which is quite a rare thing nowadays for brothers so close in age. My friends you both show such enthusiasm for the things of God, and i don't know anybody else who can get everyone so fired up for God like you two can, just with your enthusiastic, warm, and kind personalities. I'm so excited to be working so closely with you two and Wesley in AMP - such a blessing.

Eric. My friend you have never been at a loss for words =P Sometimes that can be a very good thing, as you're never afraid to speak the truth, especially when it hurts. Sometimes you're the only one who dares to. Your pursuit of God above everything is encouraging and truly awesome. I'm always amazed how easy it seems for you to give up things i know you want in light of The Greater Things even though i know it must be as excrusciatingly difficult as it is for the rest of us. You are an excellent example.

Zach. Bro we've grown up together, shared so many wonderful times. You've matured into such a responsibly young man who i look up to :-) You've been an awesome older brother to me and i'm thankful for your friendship and example, and how you constantly strive for a higher standard of Godliness so unselfrighteously!!

Now for a few girls...

Melly. The award was well given to you, my friend :-D I want to add my encouragement to that of your parents, your caregroup leaders, and your other friends - everything they said was so true Melly! You are such a Godly young woman, exhibited in so many ways. What a blessing to have grown up with you sister :-D

Emily. I'm positive you've been lying to me about your age and you're really 18 or older =P How else could you be such an example of a Godly woman? Your quiet kindness, meekness, and true gentleness are exactly what a young woman should exhibit. Your organizational abilities, gifts of encouragement, compassion, and love for people will be used by God

Morgan. I don't really know you all that well still, but i know you have a heart for God and His work - it's demonstrated in your constant kindness and servitude! I've seen how you selflessly care for your little siblings without any complaint that i've seen, and i know God is pleased in that :-)

Keri. You've been through way too much for any girl to handle this year, and even though it has worn you down, it has not destroyed you. You rest on God constantly in your trials, and you always run to Him in your pain. You're a true example of a strong Godly woman and i have much enjoyed our friendship. Keep running to God, my friend.

Janelle. You're a great friend, and your meekness is demonstrated time and time again in your selfless service to your friends and your very large family =P You are a sweet, Godly gal and i can always see your extreme concern and love for people evident so much in you!

There are so many others i could talk about, Josiah, Garett, Mark, Marissa, Kailey, Ming, Samantha, to name just a few of you... i am so encouraged by each of your examples of how a Godly young man or woman should be, and i wish i could talk about all of you but Blogger and time simply won't let me! I think this has gotten vewwy vewwwy sappy but i just wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your Godly example :-D Love you much dear friends!

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One Hundred Dollars

Oh my lordy it's been a month since i posted this here blog.... 0.o Well i guess what i said last post was not true haha - my life did not, has not, and WILL not slow down.... can you believe that? I don't have highschool now because it's summer, my classes are all wrapped up for this semester, and i don't currently have a job. But that hasn't stopped life from being crazy... i have not been bored in forever and a half... ok so here's what's kept me unbored this past month:

Time with God (less time than i should be spending)

AMP and all it's stuffs (67% of my time)

My solo acoustic project (130% of my time)

My music myspace (done, mostly)

Facebook (i know, i know =P)

Looking for a job (less time than i should be spending)

Eating (Hahaha apparently this is 100% of the time, according to my band =P)

Time with friends (just the right amount :-D)

On the phome with the Phone Company From Hell (WAYY too much time..... .. ..)

Life, and all it's randomness (4000% of my time)

Everything else (whatever percent is left haha)

Yeah that's my life now haha. And i don't feel like giving a play-by-play of my life this past month, most of you know too much already haha. I love life. Most of the time =P

Since you know what's up with me personally, i'm gonna change tack for a minute and come back with a bang... I want to talk about something that's been frustrating me the past few months... Have you noticed at church, the girls talk to the girls, and the guys talk to the guys. And if you break the mold and either join the other group or talk to *gasp* the other sex you MUST like that person! Ugh it gets on my nerves so much. I mean i know girls need girl time and guys need guy time (not as much as girls need girl time i think though =P) but seriously - why don't we teens at crossway take a quote "risk" (!!!)  and talk to someone other than our own type? And oh.... God forbid if a guy or a girl hugs each other... that's just wrong. Don't you know we could get cooties??? 0.o It's been a lot better recently though i gotta say. It still frustrates me to look around church and see all guys in one group and all girls in another... right next to each other!!! And it irritates me personally for being called a "ladies man" or worse when i try to change it. Is it so wrong to want to spend time in fellowship with my sisters?? I don't know... I know the dangers with all this, and i know personally for us guys how we're supposed to guard girls' hearts, but yeah... i don't know you guys. What do you think? I know for a fact i'm not the only one that shares this opinion... i'm done ranting on it though =P

Ok so i'm sure i got your attention with the blog title =P hehe that's a song by my *current* favorite band, Manchester Orchestra!! :-D They are truly incredible - they remind me of Death Cab for Cutie meets The Beattles and Ted Nugent haha. (Bravo if you know who those bands are, and you're not like someone who has spent more than 30 minutes with me haha) So here's the lyrics of One Hundred Dollars. Hehe.

Several fishing magazines
Stacked up on top a fake picture of me
When I tried to call
No one answered

It's not even that I'm all angry

Just kind of confused why you do this thing
You said, theres an understanding
I offer you a small dog in the kitchen
I just wanted you to feel at home
And that's why I'm fine
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine
I just need 100 dollars

And I am fine, I am fine, I am completely fine
I just need 100 dollars
From you
And you and you
And you and you

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Worship :-)

I can finally post again!! I've had a ton of preperation to do for worship, and now that that's done with for now i can relax and get back to some sense of normalcy =P

Well tonight for those that weren't there, i led worship along with my band for Q222 Youth Group tonight. Welllll....

Ohhh man....... you know as i was thinking about the worship set tonight, i thought "Ohh i did so awful!!! Transitions were shaky, i totally trainwrecked the start (guitar was in regular tuning instead of Drop D like needed!), I sounded like a gopher on steroids, WHAT was up with my guitar, and OH MY GOSH i was so nervous...." But then as i talked to folks and discussed everything with my parents, i was amazed to hear that people were actually led into worship tonight!! And it wasn't anything that my amazing band did, it's definitely not anything i did, and it's nothing we could have done - it was ALL the Holy Spirit!!! I continuously prayed that God would use our broken vessels to lead the youth group to worship, and that's exactly what He did - along with showing me how broken my vessel really is =P The funny thing is when we started i thought "Yeah, we got this!! It's GOOD! Yeah!!" and then... trainwreck =P I firmly believe that was God saying... "Ummmm... NOPE!!" Haha i just hate that everyone had to "suffer" through my lesson =P Well, all-in-all, i think i'm overanalyzing this. I just pray that everyone was served, and that we were able to be the vehicle with which God ministered to even just one person... it was all worth it, all the weeks and weeks of practice, the stress, the late nights pouring over scripture, if just one person was led into worship... And i for one would love to hear yall's thoughts on all this, critisism, admonishment, suggestions, or any critique you might have :-) Let me know!!

Well it's very late..... i've got to end this now. I'll try to post soon! Peace yall, i really enjoyed spending time with yall my dear dear friends :-) Love yall :-D

Oh.

POUNDCAKE! =P

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i'm still alive!

I wanted to shoot off a quick post to say, yes, i'm still alive and kickin, i just haven't posated here in a while. My b yall. I've been super busy with AMP stuff as usual, and school is even more hectic for me here lately. The only thing that hasn't really changed for me this week is i'm still listening to City and Colour and loving it :-) I'm still confused though... and... it just gets deeper. I'm just taking it as it comes, and deciding what to do as i seek God in everything. I've been doing that so much lately. So much peace from that....

Well anyhow...

I LOVE american Idol! The top 4 are amazing and i look forward to their upcoming albums! Because you know when they get voted off, they still get recording deals... yep that makes ma happy :-)

Ah one last thing before i head to Bojangles to meet Zach - i just wanted to let you know i took a quiz on facebook about how well i know women, and i scored 100% :-D :-D Yep, it said i'm an expert on the most difficult field on Earth - Girls :-D Hahahaha... Yes, be jealous, guys. =P Hahaha.

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Praise you Lord!!!!

Oh i'm so happy right now! And concerned... and anxious... and excited... and most of all, humbled... what an honor!!! Ohhh i can't share why... you will all see very very soon!!! :-D :-D

Day Old Hate

Well.

=P

i am LOVING City and Colour. They have such a rich, sad acoustic sound. Morgan i think you'd really enjoy them. Such a lonely sound, poignant and beautiful. (the title is one of their songs)

I'm happy, because my cell phone provider is i think FINALLY going to make everything OK with my phone after shipping me TWO broken phones...! And, they changed their plans, and now for 5 bucks more than i pay now i get DOUBLE the minutes i usually do!! So now monthly i have 300 anytime and 1,000 night and weekend minutes :-) they asked me "Would you like to switch?" i was like "Heck yes!!" haha.

AMP is meeting tomorrow - you better be there =P

ohhh lately i've been so confused........ this is not the place to say why........

Later on, i'm planning to just drive and drive... i'm going to do what Keri suggested and drive back and forth on the Highland Creek Parkway... i love that road, especially this time of year. And i love knowing that so many friends live close by, so it's never lonely.

Life is good, you know? Morgan said that earlier and i agree wholeheartedly. There might be problems, but more than life being good, God is good. And that makes life good :-D Something to consider. :-)

Did i mention how much i love City and Colour?

haha

well i am headin' out.

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Thoughts....

I just love Far From Home by Classic Crime. Matt showed me the song on Monday and since then i've been listening to it almost constantly. Haha i think i'm repeating Morgan though =P

Yall, lately i've noticed i'm becoming a lot diferent, a lot quieter, and more thoughtful. Now i rarely say anything except for that which needs to be said. And i've noticed that one of my favorite activities is to put on an acoustic alternative song and stare at the wall and just think. This is very unlike me. I noticed i was acting this way tuesday when i went to frisbee... Brandon told me that i was almost a diferent person than i was on Sunday, and Keri said i was acting very chill, and wondered what was wrong.....absolutely nothing. I'm very happy now, i'm just very quiet and thoughtful now too. Am i just maturing, moving past from the crazy wacked-out fella i've been? Not real sure. I just know that i've only said about 2 words in the past 2 hours. Maybe this is a good thing? I know i've annoyed some of you with some of my crazy actions, and while i don't feel i've been being immature, maybe it will be good to be a lot more chill from now on. I feel talked out from posting on this blog - that never happens.

You know i haven't posted anything deep on here in a long time - and i figured since i'm spending so much time thinking lately, i may as well post some of my thoughts... lately i've been thinking about Emotionalism and Sentimentalism. It's what puts those extra zeros on the checks in movie and music producer's wallets, what causes you to enjoy a movie. Emotionalism basically means "Emotion for it's own sake" - it's basically the enjoyment of emotion. See when you watch a movie, or listen to music, you're unconsciously expecting to be moved by it. If you watch a movie or listen to music without it making you happy, sad, angry, wishful, fearful joyful, or any other emotion, you consider it a waste of time, and a bad movie or piece of music. Everyone can fall into the trap of conjuring up emotion for it's own sake. And it's a trap, and a bad one too, trust me. See you can go to church on sunday, get stirred up by the music, excited by the preaching, and go home and think that you've "met God" when really all you've done is satisfied your appetite for emotion. Now i'm not saying you should go to church and not be moved by the music or stirred by the preching, God gave us music to enjoy, and he gave us His word to stir us and encourage us. What i'm saying is to be mindful of the distinction between the conjured-up feeling of emotion, and the actual truth from God. Does this make sense? If not i'll rethink it and repost it in a way that does. I have more to say on this subject, but right now i have to head on out.

to quote Ming: Life, kids. Life.

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A little ol' post

Nobody posts on their blogs anymore, me less than anyone. That's disappointing. I know we have so much to say, i talk to yall on the phone or in person and we always have a lot to say... are we all just so busy?? I guess that's the case for me. Ecxcept for right now. I have absolutely nothing to do for another hour i guess until i meet Ying at Dilworths :-) So i figured why not set a good example and post on my little old blog :-D

Well lately i've been thinking about how much i have to be thankful for. But, i haven't listed everything recently - i think that would be a good idea, even though i did this on thanksgiving. I've said a lot of these, so i'll just keep each item short and sweet.

God!

my wonderful family.

my dear, dear friends!

a car with gas in it :-)

my licence :-) I love that freedom...

coffee at dillworths, and that amazing carrot-raison muffin :-D

the AWAKE MUSIC PROJECT!!!

youth group :-) 

new friends

tennis! And in-depth sweet conversations while nailing tennis balls into the netting :-)

facebook! and the ability to know when to get off :-)

my beater of an acoustic guitar :-D :-D that beautiful piece of junk has seen so much use and abuse =P

my amazing amazing electric guitar! I just don't feel like me without it slung around my neck :-)

frisbee! Otherwise known as an excuse to get a bunch of friends together =P

Purevolume, Myspace, and Facebook fan pages, where AMP can be heard and get advertised for free!!

the excitement of playing live shows, and getting ready for the next one :-)

audio engineering class :-)

lunch with Zach each thursday at Bojangles!!

my internship with engineer Robert McClure, one of the elite audio engineers in the south :-)

Thursday worship practice, and the ability to run the sound board :-)

church sunday morning!

sweet sweet songs like Captivated by Vicky Beeching, which i'm listening to right now :-)

little things, like the feeling of sitting inside playing guitar on a rainy day

my phone, which has been extablished as the thing i can't live without, and my computer!

the amazing shows on Fox, which have provided many enjoyable times with my dad and just by myself on a late night.

band meetings in the sweigart's basement :-)

AMP general meetings in the Davis's creepy basement =P

My voice! I'm so happy that i can sing well :-) (and just a tip - NEVER tell me to be quiet while i'm singing well - you wanna see me mad?? Just try that. C'mon. Try it.)

Singing and playing guitar with you girls :-) It's so wonderful to hear yall sing - i don't think i tell you that enough :-)

Being totally crazy at Youth Group and getting away with it =P =P (Like chasing Josiah through the parking lot yelling like a 5 year old!! =P)

The peace only found through God. Nothing like it, yall :-)

Praying with friends, and enjoying true fellowship as we ponder the awesomeness of God.

The ability to enjoy music, especially that played by friends.

That creative spark that happens when experienced, talented musicians get together to play music, and the wonderfylly humbling opportunity i have to channel that into something truly inspirational and wonderful!

so, so much more...

and...

all the sweet sweet times with you wonderful friends... This is probably the most amazing blessing God has allowed me to enjoy. I love each and every one of you and the times we've shared. What a humbling joy to be able to share our lives with each other, for as short or as long as God allows it. Whenever i think of you friends i'm close to now i'm filled with such joy. And also what a deep sadness i feel as i think of you dear dear friends who i've lost over the years due to my own selfishness and pride.... i'm still bitterly angry with some of you for so many things... and most of them are all my fault. I've been thinking about this so much lately. I'm on the road a lot, and so sometimes i'll just turn off the music, roll up the windows, and sit in silence for a while. I miss you so much... But i praise God for bringing dear friends in my life to help me bear this, and i'm so happy to be able to share everything with you... So many of those things up there, like Dillworths, Bojangles, and tennis, i'm thankful for because of those opportunities to share life with you. What wonderful friends you are.

One last thing, i've been listening to this song a lot lately, and i think Emily said that it was the prayer of her life. Well, it's mine too, especially this line...

"May my life be one unbroken gaze, fixed upon the beauty of Your face!"

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flyby

wow i haven't posted in forever - life's been so busy!! The Awake Music Project has been extremely time-consuming, which has been great!! But that combined with college and life makes me have almost no time for this blog. In fact i'm running out the door as we speak (well i'm not running out the door yet, that would be difficult to type while doing) and so i gotta rap this up yo. I LOVED the art festival, so much talent was represented by so many of the kids!!! I'm seeing some future AMP members among some of them :-) Annnnd - i'm so proud of my band!!! AMP delivered a flawless performance thanks to the creativity and musical genius of the band!! Love you guys :-D Well i want to post more about the festival later, because it was so inspiring!! And i want to talk about a few that i was absolutely amazed by... but not now. I've really gotta GO!! AMP meeting all day tomorrow, and then YOUTH GROUP!!! Love yall, seeya :-D

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See you there..! :-)

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Nervous Breakdown.

I've been blocking. I figured it out. I've been so much wanting my life to be good now that i convinced myself that it is. Hey guess what it's not. And it all hit me tonight... I don't know if anybody noticed at youth group tonight, especially towards the end.... all i wanted to do was talk to friends, and laugh. But hey... i had to set up chairs, along with 30 other guys, after working my butt off this morning setting up the ENTIRE special events room, completely resetting the stage, vacuuming, setting up all the chairs in the room, basically rebuilding the entire room, with absolutely NO help from anyone aside from Janelle and Taylor. And that's not to mention that just Janelle, my Dad and i took 5 hours setting up the entire room last night for the performance today. Yeah. So... i wasn't too happy with being FORCED to do even more. And after the day i had..... Not that i didn't want to work, it's just that i was physically unable to. My feet were killing me and i needed to sit down. But nooooo... After the performance i had to drive down to Pineville to drop my dad off where his truck was, and then drive back, in the pouring down rain, in South Tryon traffic. It made me a nervous wreck by the time i got home, and then i found out my Excel test was due that night. I thought it was a check yes or no style test, but it was a LAB!! An Excel Formulas lab!!! So instead of resting like i should have, i had to work my butt off as soon as i got home. Youth group was a lot of fun, but it ended way too soon. And right then i needed friends. Some other news hit me hard that i found out while on the road... some of you know what i mean, i can't really share it here.. but it hit me so hard and i don't know what to do... well i tried to talk to Wesley about it afterwards, but we got YELLED AT because we were TALKING!! I was so furious and at the edge about everything that i had to go somewhere or i was going to absolutely lose it right there... i went in the storage closet, and i am do so glad no one saw me and told me to go back out there.... i don't know what i would have done...... I just need so much prayer, guys.....

*Saturday*
Well things are a little better today than they were yesterday. I was blessed by my cell phone company, who gave me an entire month of service ($50 worth!!) totally FREE since they messed up my phone shipment. This could NOT have come at a better time!! And now i'm getting ready to head to someone's house to pick up a check for $25 as well, which is also much needed. And i'm stil going to the studio sometime this afternoon, and i'm trying to go to the PFO songwriter's concert. So today should be a better day. I still need prayer yall, i can't go into specifics here, but i would really ask that yall remember me in your time with the Lord. Thank yall so much, i'm so blessed to have all of you wonderful friends. :-)

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101th

Woweee i haven't posted in a while. I just realized i missed my 100th post. So i guess i'll celebrate my 101th post. Here goes.

WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!

Ok that's that then. Anyway. I've been superdeeduperly busy this past week :-) I love being busy. I've been driving like 80% of the time, i'm pretty much always on the road now :-) It is completely amazing - after waiting over a year and a half longer to get my licence than anyone else to get it, now that i finally have it, it's a completely wonderful feeling. I've been able to hang out with people i havent seen in a while, like my friend Aaron T, and do things that i otherwise wouldn't have been able to. Last night i went to Evergreen youth group at branch family, and they asked me to run sound for them, which was amazing. I didn't know the board at all, but i was able to hit it running and i think i did a great job :-D The past few days have been awesome - my life is really going great. I am so thankful, things have been totally turned around from what they were several months ago. The night is darkest just before dawn, i guess. Well more about that later - i'm in Central's PC lab right now, and i've got more quizes to do before meeting Zach at Bojangles. I'm soooo excited about the weekend, tonight i'm going to set up Project 149's dance performance with Janelle, tomorrow morning i have something amazing that i forgot, tomorrow night is YOUTH GROUP!!!!!! And Saturday i'm going to the studio with Beyonce's producer to play around with all the equipment, and then i'm going to the Playing for Others songwriting competition performance :-D Sunday i'll probably be going to the mall with Janelle, Megan, and Kelley. Ok now that i've rambled and randomly read you my calender i'm gonna sign off. Sorry for the worthless post - hey, at least i'm posting again =P

oh and again:

WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

^ I figured i'd celebrate a little more.

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I

FINALLLLLY

GOT

MY

LICENSE!!!!!!!!!!

:-D

How about this weather you guys. It is truly amazing. It reminds me of St Pete Florida in the early spring, or the Blue Ridge in the summer :-) Today i'm going back to Davidson with Chad to that little pawnshop to pick up that guitar. Mmm baby that is one sweet guitar. Who knows what else we'll come back with.... After that, there is a chance i might be going to Chad's youth group, which will be incredibly awesome too :-D So today's shaping up nicely. And i'm listening to Chris Thile's mandolin playing. That just makes me happy in and of itself! Well i got work to do.... pictures later hopefully :-D

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I <3 Davidson

Just sayin. I went down there earlier tonight with Chad and just walked around right at dusk. Oh. My. Gosh. It is soooooo nice there!!! I felt like i was on vacation. The sun was going down, and the sunset was casting everything in a weird, creepy light, and since the buildings there are strung out in a strange manner like something from the early 1700's, it gave everything a strange, other world type appearance. The buildings and little shops there are so old, more than 200 years some of them. And there was NO ONE there!! The streets were almost entirely empty... it was all just... creepy =P But beautiful. I am going back as soon as i possibly can, which is HOPEFULLY tomorrow, and DEFINITELY sunday :-D As we were leaving we passed by this tiny pawnshop in a very quiet alley that looked like no one had been in for a hundred years... the buildings were all vacant and rickety beside it, but the shop was in business, and had SO many amazing things inside... it was already closed though. But. OH MY GOSH we saw the most AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING Gibson guitar looking in the window... for $200!!!! It's worth thousands........ we're going back to pick it up tomorrow if possible. :-D But i gtg now.... so much more happened today, but i'll talk about that later. Peace yall.

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Bob Band's Terribly Tragic Awful Story

I was just thinking back to Sunday, and how yall wouldn't let me finish telling about the signing process and what REALLY goes on behind the scenes with recording contracts. Well, now, guess what? I have a captive audience. You could flip away from my blog, or skip this part, but you love me too much to do that. And this way, writing about it, i don't run the risk of being whacked by a bible (the Sword of the Spirit) or drowned out by Melly telling me to "Shut UP!" First off though, i want to certify what i'm about to say by first saying: I've practically grown up in the music industry. My mom has a degree in broadcasting and recording technology, my dad toured with several great Christian artists, and they were both DJs and reporters with many connections on the inside, my mom even being part of a band, Higher Power, which was in the process of being signed, and which was destroyed by the very contract which was written to boost them more into the spotlight. All through my family there are producers, engineers, and i've learned much of the business from them. I think i'm qualified to share about the process, just sayin =P NOW i want to also say i am NOT sticking up for the Jo Bros here. i HATE them. I would love to have their marketing agent, but that's beside the point. All i was saying is that they might not be choosing what songs they sing or how they are billed as. You can't accuse someone of "selling out" When they're not the ones doing the trading!! This is how it usually works, and as i don't know the story behind the Jonas Brothers, i am assuming it is the same for them, because this is just how the industry works. Here's the process... some garage band, lets call them Bob's Band, gets their first big break. Billy Joe's Indipendent Label signs them on! They produce their first little record in Billy's project studio, and Billy Joe's label then takes the album to his contact at say Big Bad Studio. Well Bobby's band doesn't like what Big Bad Studio would make them do, even though this will boost them to national fame. Oh wait - too bad! Bobby's band signed a contract with Billy Joe which stipulates that Billy Joe can sell them to whoever he likes... Well now hey Bob's band is now signed on a huge label, but they have been forced to sign a contract... well now they are a national sensation, but hey Bob can't write songs that say "God" or "Jesus" in them because the record company doesn't like it... and Bob can't do a thing about it until his contract runs out. And let me tell you, you NEVER want to disolve or break your contract. They will ruin you, and you will be DONE in the industry. Instead of singing the lines to your hit song in front of 100,000 people you'll be singing the McDonald's theme song as you say "Do you want fries with that?" Now... this is an extreme example, and usually it's not this drastic. But the industry is cutthoat - it thrives off of people's greed. They'll love you as long as you make them money. That's just the cold reality of it...

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///////

I should just keep my petty problems to myself and not bother those that are going through real problems right now... i can be so selfish and inconsiderate. Hopefully i can make it right later on tonight....

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You know,

i have been wanting to post a very profound post, which i haven't done in a while. Yeah i know, i'm a slackard. But i'm sooo tired right now and i feel nasty... i got in a bunch of dust and kerosene yesterday at the Merch Mart where i put in almost 10 hours worth of manual labor lol... my throat is sore, i feel achy, and i think i might have a fever :-/ Oh well, i'm pretty happy over all. I just got back from a loooooong day of driving with Wesley, which was pretty amazing :-D We went to Sam Ash and pretty much decided on a mixing board :-) But he already posted about it. I'm super excited about it. We spent hours at Sam Ash today, playing with all the equipment, software, mixers, outboard gear, guitars, basses, and everything else. I found it funny that Wes kept getting mad at me for touching all the knobs and fiddling with the controls of most of the gear, and i got mad at him for touching and fiddling with all the high-end guitars and basses =P I guess we each have our pet peeves when it comes to engineering haha. Well i don't want to ramble like i did in my other post so i'm just gonna quit talking haha. Besides i gotta leave here in a minute to drive my folks to see some friends of our's brand new baby at Presby :-) That's going to be joyful i know. I'm not actually going to see the kid, because i have a suspicion i'm getting sick... idk. Well i'm gonna shuddup now.

Oh. One more thing - this is my 90th post, and when i reach 100, i'm gonna have a celebration. Well not really. But i'm gonna try to post my 100th post on the day i get my license the tuesday after next :-) Yay me!! Ok NOW i'm gonna shut up.

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Amazing.

Yes, yesterday was da bomb. I went to church, and that was amazing! It was the first time i've been upstairs for the whole service in probably a few months, and i really loved it :-D We honored Pastor C for his years of service, which i thought was totally appropriate :-D Thanks Pastor C!!!! After church i had a worship leader's luncheon. That was brutal, because David and Mike kept saying things that would make Megan, Keri, and i burst out laughing - and of course we couldn't do that, it was a serious meeting 0.o So we suffered through it =P Sad, sad news afterwards though - my team is being split up!!!! No longer will Keri, Megan and i lead together - Megan and i are still leading together, but Keri was moved to another team :'( :'( That makes me really sad, we've had some good times... But our main purpose is leading the kids, anyway, not just having fun. I promised myself that the three of us would get together sometime to hang out again though :-D I am looking forward to the new way of worship leading - it's going to be interesting and good. Anyhow, back to my day... after the meeting Megan and i had to run ALLLLLLLLLL the way across the parking lot in the POURING rain!!!! And of course she was parked the furthest away from the building, and it was raining harder than ever... we were totally completely soaked by the time we got to her car!! I bet we looked hilarious though - both of us running full-tilt across the parking lot with our hoods up yelling and screaming continually =P that was a ton of fun. At the mall we met Morgan and Garret there, and Chad and JP joined us a little later. We TRIED to do a scavenger hunt. We had some amazing ideas, but ended up only doing a couple of them =P It was a blast writing them and hanging out though. We had to leave to meet Janelle and Mark at Starbucks, and so we just kinda sat there for a while and relaxed which was nice. Mark and G had to leave, and apparently Janelle got bored, because she got devious =P =P she said "why don't we go over to the mall and do some of the things on the list!!" And so we did.... and.... wow. That turned out amazing, but disturbing..... Before we even got there, Megan almost killed us driving me, Morgan, and Janelle back to the mall - she hit a puddle, and we hydroplaned... we all atarted yelling and i remember shouting "WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE" over and over until Megan threatened to kick me out of her car. Well we got there all in one piece surprisingly, and true to her promise Megan didn't kill any of us, though she threatened to a couple times. Especially when one of us insulted Edward or tried to hurt Emmett =P hahaha. So anyway at the mall we meet up with Chad and JP, and we start doing some of the list... first thing we did was go to the coldstone creamery where i ordered a large pepperoni. They promptly informed me that they didn't serve pizza and i said "Not even in SLICES?" Hahaha i walked away acting chagrined. =P Then JP pretended that he knew somebody but it turned out lame because the guy started to get mad so he backed out fast =P We did a few other random things, and then passed by the dress store... all i can say about that is Morgan saved my life there..... Thanks so much Morgan!!!! Afterwards we found out it had started sleeting, and we had to leave. Megan, Janelle, Morgan and i headed back to the car, and i felt so bad for disappointing Janelle that i wore some frilly pink butterfly wings Megan had in her car alll the way home. =P Well we got back to my house without any major incidents, except when we pulled around the circle Janelle started looking devious again and asked me if i would sing some Katy Pery... then she asked if anyone had a video camera 0.o hahaha i agreed, but only if they would sing and dance with me... well it had just started snowing, and of course the light in the car wasn't good enough, so we had to get out in the street to film it... so Megan, Janelle, and i danced and sang Hot n Cold in the snow while Morgan filmed... we were so freakin cold but it was amazing haha. After that, i went inside, and i guess they all got back home safe 0.o apparently they did... amazingly =P =P Well...... that was my day =P Interesting, wouldn't you say? And wow.... long post 0.o

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Snow?

Apparently everyone else thinks so. I just got back from a very very packed Lowe's Foods where EVERYONE there had both bread and milk in their carts... typical Charlottean reaction =P I was laughing so hard... some people JUST had bread and milk... I can assure you though, i only bought pizza, six gallon bottles of juice, cheese, and eyehole screws. :-) I refuse to go with the flow. And i highly doubt we'll get snow anyway. I'm hoping we don't get snow. I have plans!!!! haha. But God doesn't wait on my own little plans does He? That's fine with me, i think it'll all turn out good. Right now i'm just relaxing, waiting for Chad to call so we can do something... what, i'm not really sure. =P It'll be amazing though i'm sure. I'm bored, and tired, and i want tomorrow to come fast...

And i just totally wasted your time =P

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...

Ying, Emily, Wesley, yall please call me or something as soon as possible.... please.

hey look -

- I'm happy now!!! All it took was one great conversatiom with one great friend :-D :-D :-D

I told you a happy post was coming later :-)

How's this for happy??

:-D

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Apathy Parade

This is a first. I don't want to go to class today. I'm talking about my Audio Engineering class. Somebody check my temperature, get me to a hospital. I MUST be sick. I feel fine. But i just, don't, want to go! I don't want to do anything. I just want it to be tomorrow night. And then i want it to be 19 days from now. Because in 19 days i get my license. That's gonna be a great day. I'll be able to do so much more, get a job, drive friends places, not have to ask for rides, start construction on the studio, take wayyy more classes, go for spontaneous road trips, go to friend's houses, hang out with more people, meet folks for lunch, and so much more..... i've been counting down since 6 months ago... i'm so ready. If life had gone as expected i'd have already had it for a year and a half already... but it never goes right does it? That's life.

I'm sitting here very bored. I have homework to do. But who wants to do that? Yes i'm procrastinating. And talking in short sentences. Because i don't really want to talk to anybody right now. So i'm not saying much. I don't really know what's going on with me - i feel good, i have so much reason to be happy. But i'm not. I think it's just early. Once Zach comes back and we hit Bojangles i'm sure i'll be doing great, and i'll be happy in class when we FINALLY go to the studio (hopefully). After class i gotta rush home to drive my Mom all the way to the other side of Matthews for a docters appointment, and then tonight i hope i'm doing something amazing - i'll either try to go to frisbee or go to Ying's. Hopefully the latter - i want to chill with good friends.

I've decided to not have loud music tomorrow night. I'm sure that makes yall happy =P It's just too much, and it cuts down on fellowship. Some of yall will have to join me one time at the church just us where i'll boost the sound to 115db, and we'll REALLY rock out =P But... youth group is not the place for it. By the way, i am taking suggestions on the playlist. Anything Christian is fine. I put my foot down over mamby Christian music. That stuff makes me angry and i'm gonna stop talking about it because i'm already a little bit peeved for some reason already... Well i guess i have nothing else to say - happier post coming later :-D

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__insert great title here__

Well i went almost nowhere today, i just stayed home and then went to the grocery store for a few minutes this evening. I think this is the first time i've pretty much stayed home in like weeks, if not months!! Usually my day consists of waking up, taking care of school and home stuff for a bit, then driving my Dad around wherever he needs to go, which usually takes us from the other side of Pineville all the way to Kannapolis, and everywhere in between, then coming back home and going to spend time with friends, going to church, or doing a variety of other random things haha. I've got class all day tomorrow, which i can't wait for, and then i have no clue what i'm doing tomorrow night - maybe going to Ying's? Hopefully :-) I don't know why i'm boring you with all this stuff, i just kinda feel like writing now. Problem is i have absolutely no clue what to write about!!

....

Oh - Youth group is friday!!! This is our all-game/hangout time, which is going to be amazing!! I'm thinking i'm going to have some wonderful conversations with all of my wonderful friends :-) This really makes me happy!!! I absolutely can't wait :-)

I wrote yet another song today.. haha no lyrics as of yet, i just wrote a guitar and piano verse which i think sounds incredible. I also wrote a chorus and prechorus, but i'm having trouble justifying the parts in one song. So i've just been looping the verse, and freestyling some lyrics. Problem is, i'm happy, which means i have nothing to write about =P I SO want to write about the amazing things of God, but i have absolutely no idea where to even start!! I can't pick just one topic, so my songs about Him always turn out to be "God, you're so wonderful, i love You, i praise You, i thank You, Yeah" haha =P Well i've just got to work on my communing with God, and, maybe, He'll give me the words to say.

You know, i've been reading some of yall's blogs about wanting to be more like Him, and i've really been meditating on that these past few days. See i have such a hunger and passion to be more like Jesus, and to let His light shine through me, but i have so much indwelling ongoing sin that sometimes i'm almost ashamed to call myself a Christian, because i'm so like the World- it's scary. But yet i know that through Him i can do so much for His kingdom, and i will NOT be bogged down in self-condemnation to where i am an ineffective servant!! I am going to press forward, seeking Him. Lord i want Your light to shine through me....

Well i guess i found stuff to write about =P

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yep.

I feel kinda sad/happy right now. I'm not sure which. Maybe i should go ride a train like all southern songwriters do when they're sad... haha. There's just too much going on now to know... and i totally had a longer post to write but i don't feel like writing now... so i'll just correctly post that video. Thanks for telling me how, Emily, i would have probably written the embedding code by hand if you hadn't told me hahaha..



Other than that... i'll just end with a Skynyrd quote because it's just that awesome, and very relevent. (Emily if you don't know who Skynyrd is, we gotta talk =P)

"Tuesday's gone with the wind..."

the rest of the quote is relevent but i won't post it here......

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Welll...

the last post was harsh. I was angry and not really watching what i was saying... i'm still very disappointed, but thanks to a dear friend i now know more about the reasons why.... Thanks again, friend.

I just have to share this with you.... hopefully you'll see why this teen girl named Maddie Shuler is my favorite vocalist of all time pretty much...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA4Vx3bkLqc&feature=channel


I have no idea how to post it in the blog itself... to my shame. No, Hayley, i am not all-knowing when it comes to this stuff =P

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..Ugh...

I hate hypocrites. I am one myself. But. I just don't see how someone can have something happen to them. And then turn around and do the exact same thing that hurt them to someone else. And after we had so many conversations about it, too... Ugh it is so, so so disappointing. You think you know someone.... you never really know anybody..... the heart is so deceitful......

"All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us, to spare them from the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. We trade honesty for companionship, and in the process never truly know the hearts closest to us."

- Sarah Conner (tv)


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Adam Middle Name Davis...!

Dude i only got time for a real short post here but i wanted to say happy birthday Adam!! You are a strangely awesome (haha) guy and i haven't really had too much of a chance to get to know you but i really can say you're amazing. I think i can say that you and your brother are two of my favorite musicians - everything you write is so incredible and out of the box i listen to one of your pieces and am inspired for days aftrwards. Yall are totally what AMP needs!!! And dude we reallly need to hang out more often and like write music. Scheduling that is a MAJOR priority haha =P Man your enthusiasm for everything is so contagious - i can't help but be hyper and inspired every time we hang out/write music. I am so happy to call you a friend!!

Other than that, nothing else is going on - i went to the most INSANE little concert last night - Becoming the Archetype headlined, along with Bloodline Severed, Onward Olympus, Rest Assured, and a couple other bands i forgot the name of haha =P Onward Olympus's guitarist is my guitar hero now - he was absolutely incredible, best guitarist i've ever seen!!!! He had MAD skill. His 17 year old sister kept talking to me which was cool because it made the other guys jealous =P Hahaha jkkkk... I even got to ave a conversation with him at the end of the concert!! And.... everybody was incredible. I was amazed at how much i enjoyed a screamo concert, but it was sooooooooo much fun, by far the best show i've ever been to. And i've been to some great ones =P Well i'll post later maybe about how i saved Count Seth's Mic, how loud it was there, the talent of the bands, the booing and hissing (haha) and everything else amazzzzing that happened :-D But i gotta go now......


oh yeah...

1
2
3
HONEYBEAR!!!!!!

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Another long post (maybe)

What is up yall. I think it's time for my weekly long post, because here in Central's lab there's really not all that much to do, and i've done all my homework i can do. So... that means i'm here until Zach's done. May as well make the most of it! i think I'll start off by posting a couple thing's i've learned the last few days...

1: I HATE HATE HATE HATE 703 SOUNDPROOFING INUSLATION!!!!!!!!!! IT IS EVIL!!!!!

2: I found out my car does'nt like to stop too much 0.o

3: I've learned that talking to a great friend can do wonders for helping forget about pain

4: i found out how early Wesley really goes to bed =P

5: i learned that America can be SO SO SO stupid!!!! YOU LET ANOOP DOG GO!!!! NOOOO

6: I found out things still haven't changed in a certain situation.

7: I can splice video very well =P

8: I can drive for days straight pretty much all over NC without getting tired!

9: I HATTTTTTEEEEEE INSULATION!!!!!!!!!!

10: I found out Zach's waiting for me, so this post won't be very long after all haha


^ there ya go - i gotta run. Peace yall

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T.W.S.S. =P =P

I wish i could share the best part of my day today. But i can't. It was amazing though, and i laughed so hard almost solid that whole time - i couldn't even breathe haha! It still hurts to smile 0.o Wow today was certainly amazing... and of course yesterday was, and friday, and thursday, too =D I don't feel like sharing what i did, cuz there's just so much... I laughed more this weekend than i have in a good long while... i spent it with some amazing amazing amazing friends, like Wes, Adam, Matt, Christianne, Emily, Anna, Kelley, Megan, Zach, Keri, Chad, Hayley (virtually), and of course all of you dear friends i saw at church and youth group today and friday =D Now i've got to go get my hair just right (Hahaha Adam) because me and Sam S are gonna make a late-night delivery of a truckload of 703 soundproofing insulation to Wesley's =D That's gonna be crazyyy fun. And tomorrow, Hayley, maybe i'll see you???? Hopefully!!!!! Well i better go do that then. Longer post coming later maybe... haha.

Oh and by the way - wasn't the 808 absolutely killer at youth group friday, yall? I boosted it to the threshold of feeling, so we got some massive bass response =D =D Oh yesssss...

Oh and for Megan and Kelley....

That's what SHE SAID!! Hahahahahaha

I know i'm driving yall crazy with this

But i love audio engineering. =P

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Whoa.

here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck

llama llama
cheesecake llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck

i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail

half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck

is THIS how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck
Emu.

EDIT: That's for you, Emily =P

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I can bet you didn't see that coming. =P

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I have no clue

But i want to post. This is going to be a total waste of your time reading this, as it is mine in writing. Oh well here goes anyway...

Life hasn't slowed down. it just keeps coming at me faster than before... good and bad... i can't really tell which is more - the good or the bad. When i look at all the bad, i get overwhelmed. Yet, when i look at the good, i'm equally overwhelmed. Right now i'm just trying to get my life in order and fulfill my responsibilities. But... i've got so much going on and getting worked out for me it's hard just to stay sane sometimes... but here i go, pressing on. Everything going on -from studio construction to high school, from intensive job searching to Audio Engineering class, from family matters to friend's troubles, from personal trials and private problems to many many errands, and anywhere and everwhere in between- seems to hit me at various times, spontaneously and rapidly. So much is good, so much is bad, but one thing i know is, it's certainly been and is definitely going to be.. interesting. Lord knows what He has for me - he just seems to tell me all of a sudden. My only option is to trust in what He has for me.

One other thing that's been happening - i'm feeling like God is starting to show me His long term plan in my life. He's withholding the short term, but i keep getting glimpses of what i believe is the long-term Big Picture for me... I seem to be noticing that one of my passions, and what i thought i would be doing for the rest of my life, Graphic Design, is not working out - every single time i try to pursue that career path, in the classes that i take, in the jobs i apply for, in almost every conceivable way relating to it, i find a closed door. On the other hand... for the past years i've had an interest in audio engineering, music production, acoustics engineering, and sound recording. Never really more than an interest, though. This was what both of my parent's had for careers. No offense to them, but i had no interest in following in their footsteps. Well with the advent of the Awake Project, i discovered that i needed to know a LOT more about audio engineering... Well then... doors started opening for me. I got into the best class i have ever had the privelege to be in - Audio Engineering 1 at Central Campus. I discovered a deep love for everything related to this field!! I don't think i've ever been excited about anything as much as i am now for this field... I have an idea it's not going to fade away, either. Since i started this semester i have seen so many doors open relating to this, concerning the Awake Project (I believe Matt, Adam, and especially Wesley will attest to this) concerning my own personal musical ventures, concerning job choice, concerning personal connections, and concerning a thousand other things related to this field. For the first time i believe i'm getting a life plan, one that will actually allow me to do something good for the Lord, and one that will put bread on the table for my family. I'm really seeing God's hand in this. I just thought i'd share that with yall :-)

Well this post actually turned out to be worthwhile, at least for me. =P

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Fade away...

I see her face in the crowd as she turns away
Across the room, veiled in shades of grey
As time slows down, i'm wondering
Of chances gone and faded smiles
Lost in the silence of a thousand words
caught in the stillness of so much to say
my mind goes back to how we felt that day
I see you laugh then watch you fade away

Time ticks by
Going nowhere fast
Our lives are lived but the dreams have passed
Things aint changed but we keep holding on
to what we wished were true
And after all we say and do
We're still going nowhere fast

I see her face in the crowd as I turn away...

That's a new song i'm writing. I'm working on recording a demo right now... the guitar is so mournful, the melody alone would make you cry... i wrote this several days ago... let me know if you like it

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Blueprints and things of that nature

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Well that's it. The first design =D It will certainly be changed. But. I thought i'd let yall see what i thought up =P

Oh - there's the blueprint.

And.

"Things of that nature"

Now the title makes sense.

=P


Ohhh... by the way - click on the image to expand it. And i mean REALLLY expand it. =P

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Skylines

I wrote this yesterday, couldn't post it till now....

You know what i owe yall a long post. I'm sitting here in a slightly uncomfortable office chair in Central's computer lab being bored and listening to Taylor Swift on my walkman. I just realized a few minutes ago something amazing - when i look up, right in front of me is an enormous plate glass window looking out on the most incredible view of the Charlotte city skyline i have ever seen, even in a photograph. I mean it is beautiful. I love the bright blue sky... it's kinda noisy/quiet in here... Kinda nice though. I'm waiting for Zach to finish his math class so we can head across the street to Audio Engineering :-D It's syllabus day so that means we'll be sitting in the classroom just reading out of the book and listening to Rich teach but hey it's still gonna be incredible :-D I absolutely can't wait.

On a different note - the recording studio!!!!! Wes is clearing out some space right now down in his basement, which is where we'll be constructing it. I'm trying to figure out how the walls will be constructed - we don't want to build full plastered walls but at the same time we need them to be sturdy and soundproof dividers... Next few days we'll be transporting the special fiberglass soundproofing insulation to the basement and then taping the area off i guess. Once we figure out the walls and draw a blueprint, we'll start construction. After the walls are built, we'll double-insulate them. We plan to build two rooms, one a "live" room where the recording will take place, the place where the mics and stuff go, and then the other will be the "control" room where we'll house the computers, mixing equipment, sound boards, and speakers, along with about 200 other pieces of equipment =P Wes i've been getting so many ideas for the studio just typing this.... can't wait to go over there and map it all out!! Basically that's the plan, it'll be added to as we go along... we hope to have this studio as a place to experiment and record demos for AMP so when we go to the big studio we'll be prepared. We'll keep yall updated and we'll have pictures coming soon (i hope!!)

For all of you who have been praying for my dad, a little quick update: He's home from the hospital and he's doing great!! His doctor decided just to do a partial knee replacement on the right knee, and we hear the surgery couldn't have gone more perfectly. He's at home watching tv and napping and hobbling around with his walker. He's still in pain, but we expected that. Thank you all for praying! You guys are amazzzing.

Well how bout i talk generally about life for a minute... i think it's all gonna work out. So much going on, but it's gonna be fine. Iv'e started keeping a list of my current problems and my current assets (for lack of a better word) and good things in my life. I was amazed to find out, that even though the list was long with my current problems, the good things list was much longer!! That is a reason to praise God. And also, half the "bad things" are actually being worked out to be "good things" so right now i'm just not worried. Sure life is hard, real hard. But i think with God most importantly, and with you my amazing friends, i'll get through. That's all i've really got to say right now...

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